Feeling Depressed & Hopeless
I am either loving life and everything about it or I am contemplating suicide and hate everything.
This whole applying to get disability thing has me so fucking depressed now that it’s not even funny.
I was denied after my hearing that I thought went so well all because my mental health care team suck at documentation and adding all my diagnoses to the my medical records.
A major part of my hearing had to do with my dissociative disorder that I have been working on in therapy for some time now and it was NEVER added to my medical records. Like wtf, seriously?!
I saw my disability lawyer today and, well, there is no point in appealing because I won’t get it thanks to my mental health care team…
However, she did say that instead of appealing it I should just re-apply and get my medical records corrected. Plus, now I will have the Postconcussion Syndrome added to the list which caused cognitive changes.
My lawyer said that she believes if I re-apply instead that she really thinks I will get approved. She said that if it was up to her, she would definitely approve me without a doubt because she knows I need it.
I just feel like a total burden to everyone around me because everyone has to help me all the time and take care of me. I hate asking for help, especially financial help. I feel like a waste of space pretty much right now.
I even self-harmed for the first time in about 7 months the other day and I have this massive urge to do it again, and again, and again.
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.