When you Google the meaning of overwhelmed one of the definitions is: “Defeat completely.” And completely defeated can perfectly go to describe how I have been feeling at times.
Doctors don’t completely understand the causes of bipolar. Its symptoms include having the elated highs of mania to the lows of major depression, along with various mood states between. These extremes in mood are called “episodes”. Or as I like to call them, “temporary insanity.”
Being a prisoner inside one’s own cranium is one of the darkest and loneliest places to be, and sometimes even the most dangerous.
My mood is all over the place right now. I think I am in a mixed bipolar episode. These episodes can really be the worst. It feels like there is two or three of me arguing inside of my head. It’s like there is a f***ing battle going on in my mind. I can’t stand it!
Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.
October 2019 holds more than just spooky stuff and Halloween. Maybe you’re having a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, maybe even a bad year. Perhaps you’re not feeling like yourself and haven’t for quite some time. Maybe you have everything to be grateful for but are having a hard time finding even a little bit of joy in your everyday life. When is it more than just a bad mood or a bad day?
Autumn is hands down my favorite time of the year. The weather gets cooler in Pennsylvania, the leaves start to turn beautiful colors before gliding to the ground, it’s hoodie weather, plus, let’s not forget Halloween! I am also one of those pumpkin spice coffee lovers as well! I just love the Fall season! I hate summer even though I am a Leo; a summer baby.
I would like to welcome Amber from WriteAboutRecovery.com as she talks about Choosing the Right Rehabilitation Center for a Loved One.
Selecting the right rehab center for a loved one can be a major challenge, no matter how old they are or where they are in life.
Contemplating Life Yesterday was the two year anniversary of Wade’s death. I can’t believe that it has been two years already since he passed away. I really wish that I could bring him back to help ease my best friend and Godchildren’s pain. He left three wonderful children […]
I haven’t been keeping up with blogging lately — even though I have all the time in the world right now. I always seem to have time but the desire I used to have for writing, even journaling, just hasn’t been there since June… since my life fell apart again. My life is always falling apart, though. This is nothing new.
C’est la vie! I can’t control the cards that I have been dealt, just like I can’t control how other people act or think. I am trying to make the best of a bad situation. The best of a few bad situations, actually. Sometimes I feel like it’s one blow after another. I am doing the best that I can with what I have and I am finally okay with not being okay most days…
Suicide Awareness & Prevention is something that I am passionate about. I understand how it feels to want to give up and end it all when you can’t take the pain any longer; I am a suicide attempt survivor. I shouldn’t be here today, but I am glad that I am despite the obstacles and challenges that I still face in my everyday life. I would have missed so much if I had succeeded. I understand how hard life can be sometimes. If I can pull through, so can anyone else who is going through it right now. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOU ARE LOVED.
Photo by Jules D. on Unsplash Toxic Positivity: What Is It? Toxic positivity is, in a sense, pushing for someone to change their current mental state by telling them things like, “You’ll get over it,” or even, “Just be positive!” Little phrases like those two examples are usually meant to be […]
“Roughly 60 Million Americans are affected by [a] sleep disorder every year,” and I am one of them – as some of you may already know. Some night I have issues with insomnia, other nights my sleep is completely broken and restless. It is not very often that I actually get a good night’s sleep, regardless of how long I am lying in my bed for. I could be lying in bed for 12 hours and yet only get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. I even have a prescription medication that I take every night (almost) faithfully.
According to MentalHealthAmerica.net, about 54 million Americans suffer from some type of mental illness in a given year. With over 200 types of classified mental illnesses, that number can expect to rise. Yet many people cannot recognize mental illness in other people, let alone themselves. Having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, it is just how your brain is wired and it doesn’t make you any less of a person.
Hello, Mania! I am a bit on the manic said and it is the good kind of mania with the wonderful euphoria. I feel excellent right now. I don’t ever want to lose this feeling, but I know it is not possible to stay up in the clouds […]
So how the topic of this blog came about was partly due to one of my trigger words is “normal”. Another was from a conversation between Samantha and me on how we thought it would make a good blog topic so here I go attempting it. Continue Reading….
So, random thought from last night… I was working on a blog post — that I never finished — and it was titled “3am Thoughts,” and I couldn’t figure out what time “late night” transitioned into “early morning” so I settled on just saying “3am.” I probably spent way too much time being consumed by this question than I should have. And I didn’t necessarily feel like resorting to using Google to solve yet another debate for me. If you think that this a strange thing to be consumed by, you would not want to know about the rest of the crap that gets stuck inside my head!
It is a little after 5 in the morning and I have been up for some time now. I went to bed around 9 pm and woke up at 2 am. Shortly after I finally fell back to sleep, I woke up around 3 am with a muscle cramp in my leg, also known as a “Charlie Horse.” Those are always fun, right? And I have been up ever since.
This post contains some things that may trigger certain people. I am issuing a trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please use caution when reading. If you feel you may be triggered by these things do not read past here. Thank you.
It is hard to really decipher how I am feeling. I’m up and down, high and low. If someone were to ask me how I was feeling, I would probably have to shrug my shoulders and then laugh and cry at the same time. I am trying to look at things from an optimistic viewpoint while feeling pessimistic and unsure about almost everything in life. I keep wondering if I am good enough… at anything.
I have been filled with an excessive amount of anxiety since about 11:30 am yesterday. Jasper had gotten his head caught in between two metal bars under our recliner while he was hiding from two of my Godson’s. Thank God my best friend, Jazmine, was here too because she ended up being the one to save my poor kitty’s life.
Keeping Myself Entertained It has been a very long week for me that has been filled with more lows than highs. Today marks one week since Buddy tragically passed away, and tomorrow makes it one week since Jasper came to live with us. I haven’t cried yet today, […]
I apologize for not posting much lately. I have been keeping myself busy with writing for different sites and blogs. I also haven’t been blogging because I don’t really want to talk about how I feel right now. This feeling is completely new to me. I have never gotten to the point where I just don’t want to talk about what is really going on inside my head. I am going to try to open up a little, but it is giving me a lot of anxiety.
Image Credit: Unsplash Before The Sun Rises At this very moment, it is almost 5 in the morning. I woke up about 30 minutes ago and haven’t been able to go back to sleep. I figured now is a great time to blog and post an update about […]
In my bipolar roller coast of a mind, I find it hard to hold on to happiness that lingers. So I sat down did the work and came up with 10 things I can do that I have proven to make my life happier. By keeping a positive attitude as much as I can, it helps to create happy memories to get me through some very dark sad days. I can look back over my life remembering good and bad. Here are 10 steps I take to remind myself and continue to build on my own personal happiness:
These days, it seems as if most people from their preteens on up have heard of self-harm or may even know someone who purposely hurts their self. Self-injury can now be found on TV, in movies, books, and all over the web. There is much more information about this aspect of mental health than there was 20 years ago; when I first started using self-injury as a coping mechanism. That’s right, I am one of the 1 in 5 females who self-harm. For males, 1 out of every 7 has turned to this as well. In the US, there is an estimate of two million people who reportedly self-harm every year. (Continue Reading)
Today started off rocky. I was riddled with anxiety about having to leave the house to go to my Primary Care Physicians office. It was horrible. Lucky for me, I found some of my CBD oil and that took the edge off quite a bit.
Early Morning Thoughts: March 2, 2019 I am writing this from the comfort of my bed via my smartphone. So, please don’t mind any spelling or grammar errors that you may come by. As I am writing this, it is almost 7 in the morning. My alarm is […]
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (also known as OCD) is a chronic mental illness where people have either obsessive thoughts (obsessions) or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). In simple terms, these people have recurring thoughts and behavior.
A Waste of Space I have not been feeling like myself since last night, and trying to find joy in anything today is challenging. I feel like a complete waste of space. I cannot afford to take care of myself right now, and I know others are getting […]
Tips on How to Find Out What Your Triggers Are I created the Blog posts, “What Are Triggers” & “Common Triggers & How to Cope,” so why not keep it going with today’s topic, “Tips on How to Find out What Your Triggers Are.” Reminder – I will […]
What are triggers? This is a very good question in a time when everyone is talking about how they are so triggered by this that and the other. Triggers are things that you have learned that may cause you distress. They can be anything from a word, event, place, date, even a person them self can be a trigger.
A storm is brewing and a depressive episode is underway. I can feel it try to pull me under the surface as it surrounds me. I am trying to fight my way against it with everything that I have. I knew after the mania ended that I was headed in this direction. I was just hoping that it wouldn’t be so soon.
Days Like Yesterday By: Nicole Renae I wake up, not wanting to move. I get up, pushing through. One thing, and then another. Seems like I’m on a hill, everything crashing down. My heart aches my heads fuzzy. I’m pissed off at the world. You, I’ll take you […]