For the rest of March and all of April, since April will mark one year since the release of My Bipolar Mind: Surviving the Chaos, I want to offer people a more affordable way to read my books for the one year anniversary of my second book and it’s only $5!.
No one wants to live with a mental illness but if you find yourself on the opposite end of a psychiatrist’s desk and they are telling you that they believe you suffer from a mental health condition it can feel like your world has suddenly stopped. Or you could feel numb, maybe a bit uncertain about what this means for you.
(Warning: This personal blog post came out longer than anticipated. Sorry for the long read!)
I feel like I am always exhausted and in need of a good cat nap. I don’t even work overtime or anything strenuous, but by the end of my shift at work I am usually ready to veg out in bed while flipping between Netflix and Hulu until it’s time for me to take my night time medications and go to bed.
After staying up all night blogging about how my insomnia was triggering my anxiety in the wee hours of the morning, I feel like I’m just ready to crash and be lazy for the rest of the day. Only thing is, I still have about 2.5 hours of work left so being fully lazy isn’t an option for me at this moment.
Just a few hours ago, before I realized how bad my insomnia was going to be tonight, I posted about how I am still feeling like I am in an okay place in life. Even though I am feeling okay and content for the most part, that does not mean that I don’t have any more bad days or nights. Tonight happens to be a another night where insomnia has fully taken over and it is already almost 3:30 in the morning and my alarm for work is scheduled to go off at 7:50 am…
I feel like my new habit is monthly personal posts with other content sprinkled around here and there sporadically. It has been about a month since my last personal post which was titled: “Feeling Like I am in an Okay Place Lately.” And I am happy to report that I am still feeling like I am in an okay place in life right now.
I finally feel like I am on the right medication combination for my mental health disorders. It took 20 years of trial and error and getting prescribed more medications than I can even remember to get where I am today. I honestly felt like I’d never get to the point where I am okay on all my meds without any major side effects.
Christmas Eve was rough for me. I couldn’t find my normal Christmas cheer that usually surges through my veins almost every year. But I woke up Christmas morning with such happiness and excitement.
When things are going fairly well in my life and I am not on the outs with a loved one during the holiday season, I usually always feel a childish sense of excitement and eagerly await Christmas Day. But this year, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas time for me. It feels just like every other day of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that I get to spend tomorrow with my family and my boyfriend but it still just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. And Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year.
It’s already after 5 am and I have yet to sleep. My alarm for work is scheduled to go off at 7:45 am. There is no point in even trying to get any rest now especially because I am so wide awake. I have nothing going on at the moment, so I figured I would try to blog for a little – again – or until I have to start getting ready for work.
I would like to wish everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Here is to hoping that 2021 will be so much better and less stressful for everyone!
(Warning: This is a long post! Sorry!)
Continue reading…
Physically exhausted So why is my brain still running at high speed My old friend insomnia showed up once again But she barged her way in with such force There was no keeping her locked out anymore Trazodone and Seroquel… Read More ›
I hope that everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving has an amazing day Thursday filled with lots of thanks, gratitude, love, and the chance to be surrounded by those you cherish the most.
*Note: Please be advised that there is a trigger warning section of this post. It involves my own personal political views regarding the current President of the United States. Some readers might find my thoughts and opinions triggering or even angering. These are my beliefs and I am entitled to having my own opinion as well as you are. Please do not leave hateful or threatening comments. If you do not like what I have to say simply exit out of this post and move on. Unfollow if you feel the need. Thank you in advance. – Samantha
It has been some time since my last personal blog post. Since September 4th, 2020 to be exact, which is when I shared about the worst panic and anxiety attacks I have ever had. I feel like I have really been neglecting my blog but life is just so unpredictable at times. (Continue Reading…)
Today has been a very mentally and emotionally challenging day for me. I had the worst panic and anxiety attack that I have ever had in my life and it literally lasted for about an hour or perhaps even longer.
It’s almost 6 in the morning and the bright, beaming sun will begin to rise soon and I still haven’t slept yet. My body feels exhausted and physically drained. I’m struggling with some mental fogginess as well. At this point, I am not even sure if I will make sense to anyone other than myself.
Another birthday has come and gone. This year on Tuesday, August 4th I turned 34-years-old. It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by already.
It’s almost 4 a.m. and I’ve only managed to get about 2.5-3 hours of sleep. I went to bed around midnight and woke up around 3 a.m. and was pretty much wide awake from there. I am hoping that blogging… Read More ›
I have trouble with learning to love myself most days. I tend to lack any real self-esteem. In elementary school, I was even placed in a group for kids who had self-esteem issues as I did. Needless to say, loving – or even liking – myself for the way that I am has always been a major struggle for me.
