I am no stranger to inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations or even to partial hospitalization programs for mental health treatment and care. Before my first ever stay in a Behavioral Health Unit, I lived in fear of being told I needed inpatient mental health care because it was something I had never experienced before and feared deeply.
Stories & Experiences
Just a few hours ago, before I realized how bad my insomnia was going to be tonight, I posted about how I am still feeling like I am in an okay place in life. Even though I am feeling okay and content for the most part, that does not mean that I don’t have any more bad days or nights. Tonight happens to be a another night where insomnia has fully taken over and it is already almost 3:30 in the morning and my alarm for work is scheduled to go off at 7:50 am…
This is a topic I don’t necessarily like to talk about as it’s difficult to talk about much less then writing about it. So a bit of a backstory before I jump into it. I was diagnosed back in 2014 with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Let’s welcome Rissa to My Bipolar Mind as she talks about her struggles with the loss of her Nana who passed away in 2017. Here is Rissa’s Story:
So, I have been tossing the idea around with one of my best friends about writing down how the last 3 years of my life has been seeing that 3 years ago today we laid my nana (Marie) to rest. She was my everything, my support, my world. She had a long battle with colon cancer and she had a lot of other health issues which I wont get into as I don’t remember them all.
It has been so long since I have written anything, I had started a few times but not even halfway through whatever I was writing about I would have a huge blowout (ANGER) and like always, after doing so I would go into my bedroom and retreat into one of the darkest, most dangerous places I could go (inside my own head).
Today has been a very mentally and emotionally challenging day for me. I had the worst panic and anxiety attack that I have ever had in my life and it literally lasted for about an hour or perhaps even longer.
I have tried so many different treatment options and therapies to help try to manage and maintain my mental health and chronic pain disorders. I have been on the medication roller coaster ride for nearly 20 years already, and I am only in my early 30’s! There was a lot that led up to me finally deciding to try medical marijuana.
I would like to welcome Kayl back to My Bipolar Mind. Today, she is discussing her new blog and she shares what it’s all about and what her main goals are for starting her new blog – Holding Onto Hope. Please be sure to check out her blog and follow her to stay up to date on all her recent posts!
I have been losing track of time since I was in my teens. And I don’t mean losing track of time like the time just flew by; I mean literally losing track of time to the point where you have gaps in your life where memories should be. It would take almost 20 years to figure out why and for someone to actually pay attention to what I was saying and believe me.
Coming down from a manic episode can be different for everyone. We’re all unique in how our bodies and minds are made up. But for me, when I am coming down from a manic episode, it is almost comparable to coming down from a drug or alcohol high because that is exactly what our minds and bodies are doing; coming down from an emotional high.
If I could pick one thing I hated about myself it would have to be my anxiety…
Doctors don’t completely understand the causes of bipolar. Its symptoms include having the elated highs of mania to the lows of major depression, along with various mood states between. These extremes in mood are called “episodes”. Or as I like to call them, “temporary insanity.”
With yesterday, June 1st, 2019, kicking off Pride month I figured now was a better time than ever to create this post and let it all out there!
I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s so frustrating, unpredictable, and can be very scary. Not ever knowing when something will trigger it. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress due to psychological shock. Trauma can come from many of things but many come from traumatic events.
“I have come face to face with the devil more times than I can count. I have lived life as an addict, and I have loved an addict, and I have been in love with addicts. Being pulled from both sides is so hard considering you have lived both loves. I honestly think that loving an addict is much harder than being an addict.” – Kayl (Continue Reading…)
Living with Personality Disorders is one of the hardest mental disorders you can deal with on a day to day basis. Along with mood swings, it causes you to be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Not knowing what to expect, or how to feel, it really takes a toll on any person dealing with something as such. (Continue reading…)
Guest Post by Brittney D. Herz:
She’s upstairs again. Screaming into the air and wishing so much hatred down on me because I wouldn’t let her watch television this morning. We did so good yesterday, I think to myself as her screams are punctuated by her throwing books across her room. (Continue Reading)