Today has been a very mentally and emotionally challenging day for me. I had the worst panic and anxiety attack that I have ever had in my life and it literally lasted for about an hour or perhaps even longer.
It’s almost 6 in the morning and the bright, beaming sun will begin to rise soon and I still haven’t slept yet. My body feels exhausted and physically drained. I’m struggling with some mental fogginess as well. At this point, I am not even sure if I will make sense to anyone other than myself.
Helplines are there for people during their times of need. If you are ever struggling with things such as your mental health or addiction, please reach out to others for help and support. You do not have to try to be “brave” or “tough.” It’s okay to not be okay. That does not make you weak.
Save or print this helpline reference sheet in case of emergencies!
I have trouble with learning to love myself most days. I tend to lack any real self-esteem. In elementary school, I was even placed in a group for kids who had self-esteem issues as I did. Needless to say, loving – or even liking – myself for the way that I am has always been a major struggle for me.
I have tried so many different treatment options and therapies to help try to manage and maintain my mental health and chronic pain disorders. I have been on the medication roller coaster ride for nearly 20 years already, and I am only in my early 30’s! There was a lot that led up to me finally deciding to try medical marijuana.
I would like to welcome Kayl back to My Bipolar Mind. Today, she is discussing her new blog and she shares what it’s all about and what her main goals are for starting her new blog – Holding Onto Hope. Please be sure to check out her blog and follow her to stay up to date on all her recent posts!
I sincerely apologize for being MIA for the past few weeks. I just realized the other day that my last post was published on May 11th, 2020 (and was titled Mother’s Day Blues). My days are almost always blurred together lately and unless I have an appointment, I usually don’t know what I did on what day.
Mother’s Day is officially over with but it has been a very emotional day for me. I was able to wish my mom and a Happy Mother’s Day, but I hid my own feelings most of the day.
I have always hated little sayings and phrases that involve the word normal such as, “Try to act normal,” “Can’t you just be normal for once?” and even “You’re not normal.” It makes you really have to think hard about what normality even means and to who? Who gets to define and decide what is or isn’t normal in our society? In our everyday lives? Is there some kind of formal typed up
I have been losing track of time since I was in my teens. And I don’t mean losing track of time like the time just flew by; I mean literally losing track of time to the point where you have gaps in your life where memories should be. It would take almost 20 years to figure out why and for someone to actually pay attention to what I was saying and believe me.
I am not really feeling any better than I was last night when I wrote about being in an agitated, anxiety-fueled bipolar manic episode. If anything, I feel worse than I did yesterday. Perhaps this is because, like I anticipated, I did not get any sleep or rest last night. Instead, I manically wrote for hours on end. I didn’t even notice when nighttime turned into daylight.
Sure, everyone deals with anxiety from time to time. After all, it is a human emotion and automatic response to certain situations. But for people without anxiety disorders, the anxiety passes as the situation gets resolved or is dealt with and then they can be on their way as everything returns to normal.
Usually, I look forward to manic episodes as long as they are the happy, fun-loving, euphoric types of mania. But we don’t always get what we want, do we?
I am so excited to announce the release of my second book in the My Bipolar Mind series: My Bipolar Mind: Surviving the Chaos.
I am ecstatic right now! Today, April 18th, 2020, I found out that the re-release of my memoir “My Bipolar Mind” has made the #1 New Release spot on Amazon for Bipolar Disorder!
Don’t you just hate when your day goes from great to crappy then back to great again? It’s almost like my day was just as bipolar as I am!
I would like to start by wishing everyone a Happy (belated) Easter. Many of us couldn’t be with our immediate family this holiday thanks to COVID-19, but I hope you were all able to make the best of a bad circumstances!
“My Bipolar Mind” is NOW available on Amazon (again!)
If you have a friend or a loved one who struggles with their mental health it is always a good idea to research your loved one’s diagnosis in order to understand them and what they are going through better. Sometimes people who don’t really understand what is going on inside of their loved one’s head can say or do certain things that were meant out of kindness but actually do more harm than good.