
It’s Been A While… But I Am Still Here
I feel like it’s been a lifetime since I last posted anything. It’s definitely been a few months. Since September I believe. I’ve just felt like I couldn’t write anything anymore for the past few months
|You Are Not Alone|
I feel like it’s been a lifetime since I last posted anything. It’s definitely been a few months. Since September I believe. I’ve just felt like I couldn’t write anything anymore for the past few months
I quit my job on Monday, April 12, 2021. My boss wanted me to sign a contract starting that I would work whatever hours he wanted me to, when he wanted me to without notice if someone were to call off. My hours were 9a-4p Monday – Friday. I refused to sign the contract so he immediately cut my hours and took away Fridays. Then a few hours later, he took away Wednesdays as well and claimed there wasn’t enough work available for me. I got fed up of the bull shit and tension and told my boyfriend to come pick me up and I quit at 2pm.
I feel like my new habit is monthly personal posts with other content sprinkled around here and there sporadically. It has been about a month since my last personal post which was titled: “Feeling Like I am in an Okay Place Lately.” And I am happy to report that I am still feeling like I am in an okay place in life right now.
When things are going fairly well in my life and I am not on the outs with a loved one during the holiday season, I usually always feel a childish sense of excitement and eagerly await Christmas Day. But this year, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas time for me. It feels just like every other day of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that I get to spend tomorrow with my family and my boyfriend but it still just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. And Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year.
Before we get into the main topic at hand, let’s first learn a little bit about Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder is characterized by extreme highs – known as mania – and extreme lows – known as bipolar depression. There are different types of Bipolar Disorder but the main two are labeled as Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2.
I hope that everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving has an amazing day Thursday filled with lots of thanks, gratitude, love, and the chance to be surrounded by those you cherish the most.
Maybe today was your first time meeting with a mental health care professional. Or perhaps it was your tenth time. If you left your doctor’s office with the brand-new diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, you may be wondering, “What now?”
It’s almost 4 a.m. and I’ve only managed to get about 2.5-3 hours of sleep. I went to bed around midnight and woke up around 3 a.m. and was pretty … Continue Reading Insomniac Ramblings
I sincerely apologize for being MIA for the past few weeks. I just realized the other day that my last post was published on May 11th, 2020 (and was titled Mother’s Day Blues). My days are almost always blurred together lately and unless I have an appointment, I usually don’t know what I did on what day.
This post won’t be very long since I have to type it on my phone using my left hand (my non-dominant hand) since I had surgery on my (dominant) right hand on Tuesday, February 11th, 2020.
Living with bipolar disorder means getting to know your warning signs, and then taking action before a depressive or manic episode. And it also means that you have to take care of yourself even during the in-between periods. Prioritizing self-care can help you stay your healthiest, which can give you some stability during the ups and downs.
Drowning In The Haze It is almost 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake and once again stuck here overthinking and overanalyzing every little detail of my … Continue Reading Drowning In The Haze
Feeling Empty Other than feeling empty inside, I am not quite sure how I am feeling. The pregnancy was definitely ectopic and stuck in my right fallopian tube. I went … Continue Reading Feeling Empty
Lately I have been feeling so up and down that it’s almost like a baseline doesn’t exist for me anymore. I am either manic or depressed; there is no in between.
January 9th, 2020: Hello Insomnia It’s hard to believe that it is already 2020. I graduated from middle school 19 years ago. I dropped out of high school 17 years … Continue Reading January 9th, 2020: Hello Insomnia
Sleep has eluded me all night and I’m starting to get a massive migraine from being overly tired and not being able to give into the sandman’s’ sweet embrace. I just want to sleep! Especially with how erratic my moods have been lately; sleep should come naturally and offer me even a slight bit of relief but it’s not.
It’s hard to believe it’s already almost mid-December. The year feels like it has just flown by. Some days do seem to go by faster than others, but as a whole — the year went pretty fast.
When you Google the meaning of overwhelmed one of the definitions is: “Defeat completely.” And completely defeated can perfectly go to describe how I have been feeling at times.
My mood is all over the place right now. I think I am in a mixed bipolar episode. These episodes can really be the worst. It feels like there is two or three of me arguing inside of my head. It’s like there is a f***ing battle going on in my mind. I can’t stand it!
Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.