Bipolar Depression

Blurred Days

I sincerely apologize for being MIA for the past few weeks. I just realized the other day that my last post was published on May 11th, 2020 (and was titled Mother’s Day Blues). My days are almost always blurred together lately and unless I have an appointment, I usually don’t know what I did on what day.

Wide Awake And In Pain

This post won’t be very long since I have to type it on my phone using my left hand (my non-dominant hand) since I had surgery on my (dominant) right hand on Tuesday, February 11th, 2020.

Self-Care Tips That Can Help You Stay on Track

Living with bipolar disorder means getting to know your warning signs, and then taking action before a depressive or manic episode. And it also means that you have to take care of yourself even during the in-between periods. Prioritizing self-care can help you stay your healthiest, which can give you some stability during the ups and downs.

Feeling Empty

Feeling Empty Other than feeling empty inside, I am not quite sure how I am feeling. The pregnancy was definitely ectopic and stuck in my right fallopian tube. I went to the ER on the 1st of February because I… Read More ›

Insomnia Has Me Tonight

Sleep has eluded me all night and I’m starting to get a massive migraine from being overly tired and not being able to give into the sandman’s’ sweet embrace. I just want to sleep! Especially with how erratic my moods have been lately; sleep should come naturally and offer me even a slight bit of relief but it’s not.

Hello, December!

It’s hard to believe it’s already almost mid-December. The year feels like it has just flown by. Some days do seem to go by faster than others, but as a whole — the year went pretty fast.

Catching My Breath

When you Google the meaning of overwhelmed one of the definitions is: “Defeat completely.” And completely defeated can perfectly go to describe how I have been feeling at times.

[TW] Late Night Thoughts: Mixed Episode

My mood is all over the place right now. I think I am in a mixed bipolar episode. These episodes can really be the worst. It feels like there is two or three of me arguing inside of my head. It’s like there is a f***ing battle going on in my mind. I can’t stand it!

Thoughts from an Insomniac

Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.

Autumn: My Favorite Time of The Year

Autumn is hands down my favorite time of the year. The weather gets cooler in Pennsylvania, the leaves start to turn beautiful colors before gliding to the ground, it’s hoodie weather, plus, let’s not forget Halloween! I am also one of those pumpkin spice coffee lovers as well! I just love the Fall season! I hate summer even though I am a Leo; a summer baby.

Contemplating Life

Contemplating Life Yesterday was the two year anniversary of Wade’s death. I can’t believe that it has been two years already since he passed away. I really wish that I could bring him back to help ease my best friend… Read More ›

Forever Waiting

I haven’t been keeping up with blogging lately — even though I have all the time in the world right now. I always seem to have time but the desire I used to have for writing, even journaling, just hasn’t been there since June… since my life fell apart again. My life is always falling apart, though. This is nothing new.

I’m Doing The Best I Can

On August 4, 2019, I turned 33-years-old. I created so many different blog posts since my birthday but all kinds of different craziness would happen and I would delete the post and start fresh with more to talk about. To be honest, I will even be amazed if I finish this post. Sometimes I feel like my life could be a Lifetime movie. Does anyone else ever feel like that or is it just me?

Suicide Awareness & Prevention : Learn The Signs That Can Help You Save A Life

Suicide Awareness & Prevention is something that I am passionate about. I understand how it feels to want to give up and end it all when you can’t take the pain any longer; I am a suicide attempt survivor. I shouldn’t be here today, but I am glad that I am despite the obstacles and challenges that I still face in my everyday life. I would have missed so much if I had succeeded. I understand how hard life can be sometimes. If I can pull through, so can anyone else who is going through it right now. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOU ARE LOVED. 

Why Am I Still Awake? Insomnia!

I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. I am in so much physical pain that sleep should come easy, but it’s not. Insomnia has its grungy hands all over me and it’s refusing to let go. It probably doesn’t help the situation any that I finally remembered to take my nighttime meds around 1:45-2am.