Bipolar Depression

Happy New Year! 2019… Here I Come!

I would like to wish everyone a safe and happy new year! I wish each and everyone of you guys and gals Peace, Love. and lots of Happiness in 2019. (Continue Reading…)

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2018 Is Coming To An End…

2018 is coming to an end and most people are planning out their New Year’s resolutions. After the chaotic year that I have had filled with so much loss and heartbreak, I am going into 2019 without many expectations. I am not going to say that this is the year that I will finally lose all this extra fluff that I carry around. I am not going to say that this is the year I get married (again). I am not even going to say that this is the year I hope they find a cure for bipolar disorder. (Continue reading…)

Always Overthinking & Venting Session

I feel like it has been a long, exhausting day when I hardly did anything today but attended a doctor appointment, make phone calls, and went to Dunkin’ Donuts. I am still in tremendous amounts of pain, especially a few of my teeth that need dental work done. Both sides of my mouth hurt and I am in a great deal of pain during and after eating almost anything.

Late Night Thoughts: Sick & Hopeless 🤦‍♀️

I honestly feel terrible right now – physically and mentally. I am so congested and it even hurts to breathe. It feels like it was not too long ago I had the summer flu that went around my area. I am absolutely miserable which always tends to bring my mood down quite a bit. But who doesn’t feel miserable when they are sick, right? I just want to take my meds, lie down, and go to sleep for the night. However, I am eagerly waiting for the edits for my book to come through my email since tonight is supposed to be the night.

| Lost In Thought |

Journaling helps but sort through a lot in my head. But when that’s not enough, I sometimes tend to turn to blogging. Creating a post for my personal blog section sometimes helps get things out in a similar way of journaling but, to me, it sometimes feels like it does so much more. So here is what’s been bogging me down internally:

Behind This Smile…

Behind this smile, I find that I am slowly losing myself again. Is it depression? Is it anger? I have no idea. I have gotten so good at hiding behind a broken smile that no one else can see me slipping away again. Some moments I am fine. Then others, I am not. I have been rapid cycling because I never know when my bipolar disorder is going to betray me again. I never know when it’s going to crash me all the way down to the bottom instead of partially.

Lost On This Bipolar Rollercoaster Ride

I am somewhere on this bipolar rollercoaster ride, but I am not quite sure where. I think I may be stuck in the midst of a mixed episode. I have some symptoms of mania, yet some symptoms of depression at the same time. I will go from being highly productive and wanting to get things done to being the complete opposite. I am not exactly sure how I am feeling, and because of all the this, I am pretty sure this is a mixed episode.