I’m okay right now. But who’s to say how I will feel by later on tonight, or even within the next hour. But I am okay right now, and that is all that matters to me. I have been preoccupied and so consumed with being in this bipolar low that I haven’t really had a moment where I have felt okay. I am trying to enjoy it while I can. I feel like I have a moment of clarity inside of my chaotic mind for some reason. Or maybe I am just having a bit of mania breakthrough the dark clouds which are a welcomed change to feeling so low all the time.
Journaling helps but sort through a lot in my head. But when that’s not enough, I sometimes tend to turn to blogging. Creating a post for my personal blog section sometimes helps get things out in a similar way of journaling but, to me, it sometimes feels like it does so much more. So here is what’s been bogging me down internally:
*Trigger Warning* | These feelings bubble to the surface again | And I can’t help but to feel | Like my razor is my only friend…
Behind this smile, I find that I am slowly losing myself again. Is it depression? Is it anger? I have no idea. I have gotten so good at hiding behind a broken smile that no one else can see me slipping away again. Some moments I am fine. Then others, I am not. I have been rapid cycling because I never know when my bipolar disorder is going to betray me again. I never know when it’s going to crash me all the way down to the bottom instead of partially.
I don’t feel like functioning today | So I’ll ignore all my calls | Until they fade away to my voicemail | Which I’ll never even bother to check anyway…
My birthday has come and gone. It was on Saturday, August 4th, and I turned 32 years old. #BirthdayDrama
Her depression is swallowing her whole
Today, I have some amazing one-minute meditations for you to try. They are even great for beginners and are so simple that anyone could try these! These will help relax your mind and body. It can also be very beneficial for stress and anxiety reduction.
But what if I give my life to go under the knife?
Gratitude ABC’s can work wonders for a variety of situations including anxiety or panic attacks, urges to use drugs or alcohol, anxiety-inducing situations, feeling low, or even as a distraction method. It is simple to do and requires only your mind and ability to think.
I never thought I could last this long
Without alcohol fueling me from inside
But today I am 11 months sober
And I’m feeling so much more alive
Photo by Nathaniel Flowers on Unsplash Forgetting The Present A Poem | Samantha Steiner Remembering the past But forgetting the present I would love to reflect and reminisce on today But today seems so far away Yesterday’s memories have already begun to fade… Read More ›
Most people who have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder typically don’t mind the upswings – the hypomania and mania. It’s the downswings – the bipolar depression – that can really get under a person’s skin.
Its been an absolutely crazy week. I’ve been in the ER for my boyfriend a few times and once for myself as well. I have been having some major back pain again that even Kratom isn’t touching it. Either that, or I am not taking enough or not using the right strain for pain. I have been using white when I think red is for pain. Only problem is, red always puts me to sleep which I cannot do during the day.
I had gotten a message on Facebook from a young neighbor that used to live across the hall from me last night. She is only 18-years-old and she was in a lot of distress. She was telling me how horrible living was for her, and that she was planning on killing herself.
I am somewhere on this bipolar rollercoaster ride, but I am not quite sure where. I think I may be stuck in the midst of a mixed episode. I have some symptoms of mania, yet some symptoms of depression at the same time. I will go from being highly productive and wanting to get things done to being the complete opposite. I am not exactly sure how I am feeling, and because of all the this, I am pretty sure this is a mixed episode.
I must admit, I came across a bottle of this homeopathic fear and anxiety tablets from Botanic Choice not too long ago when I was Googling ‘homeopathic supplements for anxiety.’