Drowning In The Haze It is almost 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake and once again stuck here overthinking and overanalyzing every little detail of my life. I think about the things I could have done or said differently in specific situations if given […]
Feeling Empty Other than feeling empty inside, I am not quite sure how I am feeling. The pregnancy was definitely ectopic and stuck in my right fallopian tube. I went to the ER on the 1st of February because I was having extreme abdominal pain. Plus, I started […]
I found out that I am pregnant — on accident. I went to the ER for what I thought was an ll day heavy period with massive cramping just to find out that I was actually pregnant.
Lately I have been feeling so up and down that it’s almost like a baseline doesn’t exist for me anymore. I am either manic or depressed; there is no in between.
So as you may know if you read my last article, I’m having a baby! This will be baby number 5. Since my last article, I found out it’s another baby boy. I was hoping for a girl since I have 3 boys already, but I’m happy either […]
January 9th, 2020: Hello Insomnia It’s hard to believe that it is already 2020. I graduated from middle school 19 years ago. I dropped out of high school 17 years ago. Where the hell has the time gone? When I was in my teenage years or even in […]
Today, we reached 800+ Facebook followers on our My Bipolar Mind page! That is amazing to me. I never even anticipated having more than one single follower when I first created this blog a few years ago.
Christmas time can be joyful yet incredibly stressful and nervewracking at the same time for anyone, but especially for people who have mental health disorders! Being around too many people — even your loved ones — for too long can be anxiety-producing.
Sleep has eluded me all night and I’m starting to get a massive migraine from being overly tired and not being able to give into the sandman’s’ sweet embrace. I just want to sleep! Especially with how erratic my moods have been lately; sleep should come naturally and offer me even a slight bit of relief but it’s not.
It’s hard to believe it’s already almost mid-December. The year feels like it has just flown by. Some days do seem to go by faster than others, but as a whole — the year went pretty fast.
Some people look forward to going to almost all of their psychiatric appointments while others seem to loathe them. At times, it may feel like you have no idea what you’re supposed to talk about or discuss. Then other times, you may feel like you have way too much to bring up or go over that it can feel a bit overwhelming. These things happen to everyone from time to time.
I know Thanksgiving was about 3 days ago, but I would still like to wish everyone a very Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! I hope everyone who celebrated this holiday in the U.S. had a great day with their loved ones. I know the holidays can be challenging for many people; myself included.
If you couldn’t already tell by the title and picture of this post, I am feeling pretty manic today. My mind is going a million miles a minute and my fingers and mouth can’t seem to keep up. I keep making so many typing errors already just because I am trying to type as fast as humanly possible since my mind is going so fast.
It is currently after 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake. I probably should try to get some sleep since I see my psychiatrist at 8:30 a.m., but I don’t think I am going to be getting much sleep. My body is tired and in so much physical pain (My back has been killing me!) but my mind is wide awake; which happens all too often. So, right now, I am #TeamNoSleep once again.
It is after 7 o’clock in the morning, and I have been up since 4:45 a.m. Surprisingly, I am in an oddly good mood. I am not going to complain about that! I woke up to use the bathroom and then had to take one of my mom’s dogs out, and I have been up ever since.
Insomnia was in the lead by a long shot last night. #TeamNoSleep strikes again! It is currently a little after 8 o’clock in the morning on Saturday, November 9th, 2019. And no matter how alone I may have felt last night, I know that about 40 million other Americans suffer from chronic insomnia as well and probably weren’t getting much sleep either. And since I am a woman, I am actually twice as likely to have developed insomnia in the first place. I even wrote a poem about my insomnia titled: When Insomnia Says Hi!
When you Google the meaning of overwhelmed one of the definitions is: “Defeat completely.” And completely defeated can perfectly go to describe how I have been feeling at times.
I would like to wish everyone a happy belated Halloween! I really wanted to blog on Halloween itself but things have been pretty hectic for me the past few days.
My mood is all over the place right now. I think I am in a mixed bipolar episode. These episodes can really be the worst. It feels like there is two or three of me arguing inside of my head. It’s like there is a f***ing battle going on in my mind. I can’t stand it!
Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.
October 2019 holds more than just spooky stuff and Halloween. Maybe you’re having a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, maybe even a bad year. Perhaps you’re not feeling like yourself and haven’t for quite some time. Maybe you have everything to be grateful for but are having a hard time finding even a little bit of joy in your everyday life. When is it more than just a bad mood or a bad day?
Autumn is hands down my favorite time of the year. The weather gets cooler in Pennsylvania, the leaves start to turn beautiful colors before gliding to the ground, it’s hoodie weather, plus, let’s not forget Halloween! I am also one of those pumpkin spice coffee lovers as well! I just love the Fall season! I hate summer even though I am a Leo; a summer baby.
Contemplating Life Yesterday was the two year anniversary of Wade’s death. I can’t believe that it has been two years already since he passed away. I really wish that I could bring him back to help ease my best friend and Godchildren’s pain. He left three wonderful children […]
I haven’t been keeping up with blogging lately — even though I have all the time in the world right now. I always seem to have time but the desire I used to have for writing, even journaling, just hasn’t been there since June… since my life fell apart again. My life is always falling apart, though. This is nothing new.
On August 4, 2019, I turned 33-years-old. I created so many different blog posts since my birthday but all kinds of different craziness would happen and I would delete the post and start fresh with more to talk about. To be honest, I will even be amazed if I finish this post. Sometimes I feel like my life could be a Lifetime movie. Does anyone else ever feel like that or is it just me?
I feel like I have been neglecting my blog… and I guess I pretty much have been. I have been up and down and have had some med changes since the last time I wrote. I am at a place where I am unsure where I am at mentally. Some days I am great, while other days I am not so great. But I am surviving and that is all that really matters anymore, right?
I didn’t think it was possible after my breakup, but I am in such a great mood today. I feel happy and that feels foreign in a way yet very great.
C’est la vie! I can’t control the cards that I have been dealt, just like I can’t control how other people act or think. I am trying to make the best of a bad situation. The best of a few bad situations, actually. Sometimes I feel like it’s one blow after another. I am doing the best that I can with what I have and I am finally okay with not being okay most days…
My life is a complete mess right now. My 7-year relationship just came to an end a few days ago. Sometimes I am hurting a lot, other times I feel completely happy and free.
Suicide Awareness & Prevention is something that I am passionate about. I understand how it feels to want to give up and end it all when you can’t take the pain any longer; I am a suicide attempt survivor. I shouldn’t be here today, but I am glad that I am despite the obstacles and challenges that I still face in my everyday life. I would have missed so much if I had succeeded. I understand how hard life can be sometimes. If I can pull through, so can anyone else who is going through it right now. Just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOU ARE LOVED.
Photo by Jules D. on Unsplash Toxic Positivity: What Is It? Toxic positivity is, in a sense, pushing for someone to change their current mental state by telling them things like, “You’ll get over it,” or even, “Just be positive!” Little phrases like those two examples are usually meant to be […]
“Roughly 60 Million Americans are affected by [a] sleep disorder every year,” and I am one of them – as some of you may already know. Some night I have issues with insomnia, other nights my sleep is completely broken and restless. It is not very often that I actually get a good night’s sleep, regardless of how long I am lying in my bed for. I could be lying in bed for 12 hours and yet only get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. I even have a prescription medication that I take every night (almost) faithfully.
With yesterday, June 1st, 2019, kicking off Pride month I figured now was a better time than ever to create this post and let it all out there!
Have you ever woke up and just felt like it was going to be a bad day?