My First Class Starts Monday

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

I got the official confirmation email today stating that I was accepted to Grand Canyon University (GCU) and my first online class starts Monday, October 30th. I am so excited and nervous at the same time. I’ve tried to go back to school a few times in the past and it never really worked out well for me.

I guess it never hurts to try one last time. This time I am going for my Bachelor’s in Science with a focus on Counseling. My goal is to become a behavioral health counselor as long as I can keep up with schooling without giving up on myself and dropping out after a few classes or one bad grade.

I’m not good at following through with things until the end. I’m surprised I even graduated from Lincoln Technical Institute with a 3.78 GPA. LTI was more hands-on though which made it easier for me to learn everything. I’m not the best at reading from a textbook and trying to just learn things that way.

I did tell my advisor, who will be working with me until I graduate, that I have ADHD and Bipolar Disorder and may need some extra help with my studies. He sent me information to get in contact with the Disability Office at GCU. I tried calling after my advisor walked me through how to navigate the Halo Test Drive Course that needs to be completed prior to me starting my first class on Monday.

No one picked up the phone for the Disability Office so I might just send them an email tomorrow to find out what kind of documentation they need from me to prove that I have a learning disability. Instead of giving up right away with school, I am going to try to utilize things like free online tutoring and speaking to my advisor when I feel stuck so that I have a fighting chance at actually graduating.

Monday is going to be here before I even realize it. I guess it’s time to get me some notebooks since taking notes and writing things down seem to help me remember what I learned better. I am normally so beat after work that I go to bed around 7 p.m. sometimes. No more going to sleep early once my class starts, however. On the days I am mentally drained from work, staying up late to complete my assignments is going to be challenging for me.

Plus, with all my mental health issues and all the meds I take, I have to also make sure that I am getting enough rest at night to make it through the day at work and getting my learn on at night.

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Anyway, I definitely did not get a wink of sleep last night. I started to feel my energy crash around 3 p.m. I fought so hard to stay awake at work toward the end of my shift. I was so ready to take my pills after I got home around 6:15 p.m. but then I remembered that my advisor was scheduled to call at 6:30 p.m.

Now, I got a little boost of energy for no apparent reason and haven’t bothered to take my nighttime medications yet even though it is now officially 10 p.m. EST. My mania from last night and during the early morning hours subsided around 1 p.m. today while I was at work. My mania faded slowly like a drug that was slowly wearing off.

My EB drink mix got me through most of the day like I hoped it would. Then, I also took 5 grams of Kratom before work to help with energy and mood as well. I slacked on completing tasks at work the last hour and a half of my shift. By then, it was hard for me to keep my eyes open. But I did it, I made it through my workday without breaking down or getting emotional from the lack of sleep.

I haven’t slept since Sunday night. When I do go to bed tonight, I’m probably still going to be exhausted when I wake up tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. from missing out on sleep last night. It’s probably going to take another day or two before my body evens out. Although, on Sunday, I pretty much slept all day so maybe that’s part of the reason I got manic the next day and stayed up all night.

I am going to keep this a pretty short personal post, so I think I will end this right here.

I hope everyone enjoys their night!

Much Love,

Samantha ❤