“Roughly 60 Million Americans are affected by [a] sleep disorder every year,” and I am one of them – as some of you may already know. Some night I have issues with insomnia, other nights my sleep is completely broken and restless. It is not very often that I actually get a good night’s sleep, regardless of how long I am lying in my bed for. I could be lying in bed for 12 hours and yet only get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. I even have a prescription medication that I take every night (almost) faithfully.
I had to give up on someone, we’ll call her Karen, for pretty much the first time in my life. Like completely give up, walk away, and wash my hands of her. I had to learn the hard way that I can’t help and save everyone. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved or isn’t ready to receive the help yet.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter! If you celebrate, I hope that you are able to spend some time with your loved ones. To those of you who are spending the holiday solo, that is okay too, but always remember that you are loved and that there is nothing wrong with being alone on the holidays. Spend the entire day doing the things that you love – choirs can wait until tomorrow.
“I have come face to face with the devil more times than I can count. I have lived life as an addict, and I have loved an addict, and I have been in love with addicts. Being pulled from both sides is so hard considering you have lived both loves. I honestly think that loving an addict is much harder than being an addict.” – Kayl (Continue Reading…)
The Real Flavors of Life. A Poem by Kristine Colley. (Continue Reading)
Why do bad memories and things that have happened to us that are negative have to hurt so damn much?
If you are in recovery and are worried about attending a holiday party, I can offer you some advice and tips on how I got through it. I am not telling you that you are going to feel comfortable being around your drug of choice and that it is going to be all sunshine and cupcakes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to relapse either. I do not advise anyone in early recovery to put themselves in the same situation that I was in, either. If you don’t have to go to a party just yet, then don’t go. It is so much easier to sit at home and be sober than it is to be around everyone having fun with a drink in their hand.
Okay, so, I am not literally counting sheep until I fall asleep, but you get the gist.
It is about 12:30 am and I am slowly getting drowsy – most likely thanks to the 300mg of Trazodone that I take at night – but my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. I figured I would take this opportunity to blog a bit.
If you have relapsed after a prolonged time being abstinent from drugs or alcohol, it can feel like a failure. However, a relapse is not the worst thing in the world. Addiction is a disease for which there is no cure, only management. When you fall off the wagon, it’s just a setback that is a common part of the recovery process for many people. Resolving to recover from a relapse allows you to move on and commit to a lifestyle and choices that support your sobriety, goals and overall happiness.
It’s not often that I find myself waking up with energy while in a great mood. So, I figured I would switch it up and make a post while my depression is suppressed for this moment in time. I want to savor this moment and place it safely in my memory – hopefully in a place where I will remember it 😀 – so that when I am feeling down I can pull this memory out and know that sometimes things are okay.
My head has been completely crazy these past few days. Yes, I know my head is a mess most of the time anyway, but it just seems to have gotten worse. Lately, I feel like I am living in a fog. It doesn’t seem like this is my real life anymore. Money’s tight but other than that things are going well. My relationship is good, I am slowly getting back into writing, although, I do believe I took on more than I can actually handle at the moment. So, the question of the day is: Why do I still feel the way I do?
I want to start by apologizing for my absence from this blog. If you read my last few posts, I was stuck in a depressive episode. But like with everything else, the sun will shine after the rain. I still have gloomy moments but, for the most part, I have been feeling a lot better these past few days. A lot of that has to do with an exciting email that I received from an intern at a publishing company.
Addiction is linked to debt — sometimes even poverty — which can create a serious toll on the recovery survivor and, in some cases, their family. The main reason behind this unfortunate connection is that it’s likely fiscal responsibilities were put to the wayside in order to feed one’s addictive behavior. Not only does this lead to a loss of money, but a loss of relationships and jobs, too. If you’re a new recovery survivor in this position
I never thought I could last this long
Without alcohol fueling me from inside
But today I am 11 months sober
And I’m feeling so much more alive
For anyone struggling with addiction…
I wanted to take the time to wish everyone a Happy Easter!
I am so proud of myself. On March 27, 2018, I was officially 7 months sober.
Trying to prevent relapse during the holidays can be hard. Here are some tips to stay sober!
I have been trying to be more positive in general. Minus, a few setbacks.
Today has been pretty good for me while also marking my first 4th of July Sober. But I managed to make it through with of too much of an issue. I did not even get my a** to a meeting like I should have. Then again, I also did not get any sleep like I should have… I have not been to bed yet and I tried everything I could think of, besides illegal stuff and drugs and alcohol, to get me to sleep but to no avail.