Completely Heartbroken

Completely Heartbroken ūüíĒ


I’m drowning again, only this time I have a legitimate reason for being pulled under the water this time around. Sometime this morning when Mike, my boyfriend, wakes up he is going to be calling his dad to try to have him help find new living arrangements for himself. He’s leaving me. We didn’t even really have our normal full blown fight, it was very minor. He just wanted me to come to bed with him but I said no because I wasn’t ready to go to bed at the time. Next thing I know he’s saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and breaking up with me.¬† Continue reading

The Adventure Begins

 

The Adventure Begins


I am finally getting back to normal, and I love it! I was in such a bad spot with that depressive episode. Sleep was impossible, but that was all I wanted to do. I couldn’t sleep because my mind would not stop racing with all these horrible negative thoughts. I didn’t want to do anything, go anywhere, or even see anyone. I just wanted to disappear, and I was making plans to do so. I don’t think I ever felt that low in my life. I thought it was going to last forever, that I would be trapped inside my own mind thinking all these crazy things. Continue reading

Looking Up: For Today

Looking Up: For Today


I am too scared to say that my depression has lifted because I don’t want to get my hopes up. What I can say is that, for today, things are looking up. Just because I have had one good day, for the first time in weeks, does not mean that I am miraculously¬†cured, but I guess it’s a start, right? Continue reading

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14 Reasons Parents Are Destroying Their Kids Without Even Realizing It

This one got published the other day and I didn’t even take notice!¬†

Please pass it along!! Click, Read, Share!! Thanks for all your support!!

14 Reasons Parents Are Destroying Their Kids Without Even Realizing It

‚ô•Samantha‚ô•

“Love You, Hate Me”

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Love You, Hate Me

By: Samantha Steiner

9/19/16 @ 3:24am
 You make me laugh
 You make me cry
 You fill my heart
 With so much joy
 Then you tear it apart
 And you just sit there
 Watching me bleed out
 Until there's nothing left
 I love you
 Then I hate you
 You hate me
 Then you love you
 Sometimes we're just like so much alike
 That it gets kind of crazy
 But with every similarity
 There's also a difference
 And sometimes it causes us some distance
 I can the reasons why I love you
 But can you name any of the reasons
 Why you love Me?
 "Yeah, so what if you can
 Name off the reason why you love me."
 It's a tug-of-work game
 And I am losing traction quickly
 I push and you pull
 But we can't seem
 To get it together right

When Love Turns Toxic: A Link To My Article

ToxicRelationship

When Love Turns Toxic

5 Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship


Another one of my articles got published on Vocal¬†today and I thought I would share this one on here too. Please check it out and let me know what you think. You can leave a comment here. I am always up for some constructive criticism because I know that is the only way to improve my writing. I know it’s not my best work, but I don’t think it¬†totally sucks either.

If you like it, please either share a link to this page or a link to the article on your social media or with friends and family. I would greatly appreciate it!

Here is the link: When Love Turns Toxic

Sincerely,

Samantha ♥

Intro to my “Families Who Survived The Odds” Article

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This is just the introduction to an article I wrote Titled “Families¬†Who Survived The Odds” and I don’t know why, but I just love this intro and I wanted to share it on here. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Samantha ♥


“15 Celeb Families Who Survived The Odds

Families come together, through the good times and the bad. Joyous and blissful occasions such as wedding, births, anniversaries, and graduations are celebrated regularly and treasured; moments where milestones are met and welcomed with delight and enjoyment. Not everything can always be bright and cheery; however, tragedies happen. It’s how we handle these tragedies together as a family that makes all the difference. Surviving the odds with loved ones, and making it out stronger through life’s challenges is what matters the most, and is what defines us as human beings.

Life happens, and it happens to everyone. We cannot always control what gets thrown our way, but what we can control is how we react to and handle how we deal with the situations that get thrown at us. When we go through these dreaded tragedies, and our worst nightmares have been laid out before us, we look to our loved ones for the strength and courage to be able to overcome what we may have once seen as unbearable circumstances of fate.

As a single element, we may feel that we are incapable of surviving single-handedly. When families come together and unite, the impossible may no longer seem as impossible. Unfortunately, not all families are able to survive when times get difficult, and they crumble under the tension and pressure. However, the families that are able to survive the odds always make it out stronger and are capable of achieving anything in the end. They know what it truly means to be able to have almost lost it all, and are always more grateful for life‚Äôs tiniest of blessings”

The Bottle Took Her

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I feel kind of ridiculous now for posting about how going on vacation is going to be hard for me because of much I am going to want to drink. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it still rings true. However, I found out this afternoon that my Aunt Laura passed away and that it was alcohol related.

I wasn’t exactly close with my aunt, but that doesn’t mean anything because she was still family. I haven’t seen her in, I don’t even know how many, years. My mom and I just started to reconnect with her again a few months ago. Maybe it has even been about a year by now. She didn’t even live in the same state as me, so going to a viewing or funeral is absolutely¬†out of the question for me.

I don’t have much information on her actual¬†cause of death at the moment as we are awaiting the official¬†coroner’s report, which will take a few days. What we do know, for sure, is that it was definitely alcohol related in some way.

My Aunt Laura was a severe alcoholic, like a lot of people in my family, and has been drinking since her teen years. I believe she was only in her 40’s. From what I have gathered, she went on a two-week binge, and barely ate anything during that period of time and her heart just couldn’t take it anymore and gave out.

I honestly don’t know how I feel. I mean, I feel bad, but not depressed. Like I said, we really weren’t close. Surreal maybe? I think that’s the word I am looking for… it just feels surreal. With me being a recovering alcoholic, and having a relative die from alcoholism, it just feels surreal to me. Like, this isn’t right, this must just be a dream. People in¬†my family don’t die from alcoholism.

Then a strange thought crosses my mind; Could I die from alcoholism? Nah. Not me. Even though somewhere inside I know that I am blatantly lying to myself by saying not me, because the older I get, there seem to be more and more people that I know that are passing away from drug and alcohol related deaths. Surreal is the perfect word to describe this feeling.

No one ever wants to think that bad things could actually happen to them. I know I am guilty of thinking like that. I try to reason with it by saying that there have been so many times in my life that I¬†should have died but didn’t, therefore I must be indestructible. It’s distorted thinking and I am aware of that now, but I have used that line on myself for so long that I feel like it is permanently ingrained in there. It’s sad to say, but in a way, it’s like I believe my own lie, while still knowing that it’s a lie. How does that even work?

But after today, I think that distorted thought has shifted a bit. I don’t know for how long, but this shift could be good for me. Especially since I am going to be leaving to head out on vacation in… 4 hours.

It’s just really sad that my aunt let the bottle take her. She never stood a fighting chance against it. If I can get past this next week, better yet, if I can make it past these next few hours, or minutes, then I know I will at least have a fighting chance. I just have to try to take things a little bit at a time.

Right now, I am fine. But I am also writing this, and writing is my main coping mechanism. I guess any follows I have on here can expect a lot of posts out of me over this next week. I will also have my article assignments to keep me preoccupied when I need them too.


One Day At A Time

Link To My Article: First Date Deal Breakers…

Couple Kissing


One of my articles was just published on Vocal today, and I thought I would share it on here. Check it out, maybe leave a comment here and let me know what you think. It’s definitely not my best work, but the more I write the better I will get. Like with everything in life, it just takes time and practice.¬†

You can check it out here: First Date Deal Breakers: 5 Reasons To Avoid a Second Date

Thanks, 

Samantha