“I have come face to face with the devil more times than I can count. I have lived life as an addict, and I have loved an addict, and I have been in love with addicts. Being pulled from both sides is so hard considering you have lived both loves. I honestly think that loving an addict is much harder than being an addict.” – Kayl (Continue Reading…)
What is verbal abuse? Can you define it? I myself have fallen victim to it and believed everything to be true. Verbal abuse is not only words used to belittle and hurt; it’s also used to control and manipulate. (Continue Reading…)
It is currently a little after 8:30 in the morning and the bestie, Jazmine, and I have been hanging out all night and just talking about anything and everything under the sun. She was supposed to go to work today but instead is taking a much needed day off. It’s been a long time since we last stayed up all night together just talking. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though.
Okay, so, I am not literally counting sheep until I fall asleep, but you get the gist.
It is about 12:30 am and I am slowly getting drowsy – most likely thanks to the 300mg of Trazodone that I take at night – but my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. I figured I would take this opportunity to blog a bit.
It’s not often that I find myself waking up with energy while in a great mood. So, I figured I would switch it up and make a post while my depression is suppressed for this moment in time. I want to savor this moment and place it safely in my memory – hopefully in a place where I will remember it 😀 – so that when I am feeling down I can pull this memory out and know that sometimes things are okay.
I apologize, once again, for being MIA, but for some reason, I have not been able to write anything – no blog posts, no articles, not one damn thing – and it is driving me absolutely insane! I am a writer and a blogger so writing is what I do. I would also like to add that I am also going to be a published author in the near future!
Today, I went for my echocardiogram and to get my 48-hour Holter monitor put on.
For people who have never attended group therapy, it can sometimes sound a bit scary. But there any many benefits!
Right now, I hate being bipolar.
Is this ever going to get an easier for me? Will I ever stop longing for, and missing the people that hate me the most right now?
I keep bouncing in between feeling hurt and sad to feeling extremely angry regarding the current predicament that I find myself in.
Can I just start over? Make a fresh start, and forget everything that has happened to me since August.
“…Seriously though, I really do hate everything about you. As much as I hate you though, I feel obligated to love you.”