The past two days I have been in such a good mood. I got to spend the weekend hanging out with my mom (and boyfriend) despite all the Coronavirus restrictions and chaos.
On August 4, 2019, I turned 33-years-old. I created so many different blog posts since my birthday but all kinds of different craziness would happen and I would delete the post and start fresh with more to talk about. To be honest, I will even be amazed if I finish this post. Sometimes I feel like my life could be a Lifetime movie. Does anyone else ever feel like that or is it just me?
“Roughly 60 Million Americans are affected by [a] sleep disorder every year,” and I am one of them – as some of you may already know. Some night I have issues with insomnia, other nights my sleep is completely broken and restless. It is not very often that I actually get a good night’s sleep, regardless of how long I am lying in my bed for. I could be lying in bed for 12 hours and yet only get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. I even have a prescription medication that I take every night (almost) faithfully.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter! If you celebrate, I hope that you are able to spend some time with your loved ones. To those of you who are spending the holiday solo, that is okay too, but always remember that you are loved and that there is nothing wrong with being alone on the holidays. Spend the entire day doing the things that you love – choirs can wait until tomorrow.
It is hard to really decipher how I am feeling. I’m up and down, high and low. If someone were to ask me how I was feeling, I would probably have to shrug my shoulders and then laugh and cry at the same time. I am trying to look at things from an optimistic viewpoint while feeling pessimistic and unsure about almost everything in life. I keep wondering if I am good enough… at anything.
I have been filled with an excessive amount of anxiety since about 11:30 am yesterday. Jasper had gotten his head caught in between two metal bars under our recliner while he was hiding from two of my Godson’s. Thank God my best friend, Jazmine, was here too because she ended up being the one to save my poor kitty’s life.
I love and adore my best friend, Jazmine. She did something that made me feel a little bit better. I cried almost 24 hours when Buddy tragically passed away. I was in such a haze and shock that I honestly don’t remember everything I wrote in my last post, So Heartbroken. I am still too heartbroken to go back and even try to read it. But my best friend showed up Friday night with a little – adorable – surprise for me.
I am slowly starting to get my life back. One day at a time, one piece at a time, and one moment at a time.