I feel like it’s been a lifetime since I last posted anything. It’s definitely been a few months. Since September I believe. I’ve just felt like I couldn’t write anything anymore for the past few months
It’s strange to say that since I quit my job I am less stressed and overwhelmed even with having to deal with financial hardships and having to look for a new job. You would think that I would feel even more stressed since I have to worry about where money is going to come from and where I can apply for a job that would fit my limitations.
My Experience Being a Patient in Behavioral Health Units (& How My Last Stay Scared Me From Going Back)
I am no stranger to inpatient psychiatric hospitalizations or even to partial hospitalization programs for mental health treatment and care. Before my first ever stay in a Behavioral Health Unit, I lived in fear of being told I needed inpatient mental health care because it was something I had never experienced before and feared deeply.
I finally feel like I am on the right medication combination for my mental health disorders. It took 20 years of trial and error and getting prescribed more medications than I can even remember to get where I am today. I honestly felt like I’d never get to the point where I am okay on all my meds without any major side effects.
Before we get into the main topic at hand, let’s first learn a little bit about Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder is characterized by extreme highs – known as mania – and extreme lows – known as bipolar depression. There are different types of Bipolar Disorder but the main two are labeled as Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2.
I hope that everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving has an amazing day Thursday filled with lots of thanks, gratitude, love, and the chance to be surrounded by those you cherish the most.
*Note: Please be advised that there is a trigger warning section of this post. It involves my own personal political views regarding the current President of the United States. Some readers might find my thoughts and opinions triggering or even angering. These are my beliefs and I am entitled to having my own opinion as well as you are. Please do not leave hateful or threatening comments. If you do not like what I have to say simply exit out of this post and move on. Unfollow if you feel the need. Thank you in advance. – Samantha
Maybe today was your first time meeting with a mental health care professional. Or perhaps it was your tenth time. If you left your doctor’s office with the brand-new diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, you may be wondering, “What now?”
It’s almost 6 in the morning and the bright, beaming sun will begin to rise soon and I still haven’t slept yet. My body feels exhausted and physically drained. I’m struggling with some mental fogginess as well. At this point, I am not even sure if I will make sense to anyone other than myself.
I have tried so many different treatment options and therapies to help try to manage and maintain my mental health and chronic pain disorders. I have been on the medication roller coaster ride for nearly 20 years already, and I am only in my early 30’s! There was a lot that led up to me finally deciding to try medical marijuana.
I am not really feeling any better than I was last night when I wrote about being in an agitated, anxiety-fueled bipolar manic episode. If anything, I feel worse than I did yesterday. Perhaps this is because, like I anticipated, I did not get any sleep or rest last night. Instead, I manically wrote for hours on end. I didn’t even notice when nighttime turned into daylight.
I would like to start by wishing everyone a Happy (belated) Easter. Many of us couldn’t be with our immediate family this holiday thanks to COVID-19, but I hope you were all able to make the best of a bad circumstances!
Who else is up with me right now?! Well, technically it is after midnight already. But the title of this post is still very fitting right now. (It’s going on almost 2:30 a.m. already) And as I was trying to wind down and relax for the night by watching some Netflix, my mind decided rest would be out of the question – at least for the time being!
Some people look forward to going to almost all of their psychiatric appointments while others seem to loathe them. At times, it may feel like you have no idea what you’re supposed to talk about or discuss. Then other times, you may feel like you have way too much to bring up or go over that it can feel a bit overwhelming. These things happen to everyone from time to time.
It is currently after 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake. I probably should try to get some sleep since I see my psychiatrist at 8:30 a.m., but I don’t think I am going to be getting much sleep. My body is tired and in so much physical pain (My back has been killing me!) but my mind is wide awake; which happens all too often. So, right now, I am #TeamNoSleep once again.
Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.
I feel like I have been neglecting my blog… and I guess I pretty much have been. I have been up and down and have had some med changes since the last time I wrote. I am at a place where I am unsure where I am at mentally. Some days I am great, while other days I am not so great. But I am surviving and that is all that really matters anymore, right?
I have been meaning to blog for a little while now but every time I would create a post I would delete it. If I can remember correctly when I wrote my last personal post I was in a full-blown downswing. Since then, I have been a very agitated manic and then bounced around from up, down, to everything in between.
I apologize for not blogging as much and for not creating “meaningful” posts like I used to. It’s temporary. Every now and again I will get severe writer’s block and will go days to weeks without writing anything at all. During these times, I seem to wander around aimlessly and not quite sure what to do with myself. I hope after writing a bit today (and writing this ridiculously long post) it will spark some more creativity inside my mind. I just need enough to finish the article I am working on for the time being.
Not too long ago my friend was selling a few $15 HempWorx CBD Sampler Packs. I thought it was a better time than ever to give a try since I have been hearing such amazing things about HempWorx. My one friend stated that this CBD brand changed her life for the better. So, of course, I wanted in on this. Plus, even for samples $15 was not a bad deal. I went ahead and ordered one sampler kit.