Christmas Eve was rough for me. I couldn’t find my normal Christmas cheer that usually surges through my veins almost every year. But I woke up Christmas morning with such happiness and excitement.
When things are going fairly well in my life and I am not on the outs with a loved one during the holiday season, I usually always feel a childish sense of excitement and eagerly await Christmas Day. But this year, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas time for me. It feels just like every other day of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that I get to spend tomorrow with my family and my boyfriend but it still just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. And Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year.
Mother’s Day is officially over with but it has been a very emotional day for me. I was able to wish my mom and a Happy Mother’s Day, but I hid my own feelings most of the day.
I would like to wish all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day! This includes all the moms who, like me, weren’t lucky enough to be able to being their little one in to this world for whatever reason; all the moms who either miscarried, had an ectopic pregnancy, gave birth to stillborn, and who had to terminate their pregnancy for selfless reasons.
For women who want to experience motherhood in the worst way, finding out that you are finally pregnant after months or even years of trying can be an exciting moment. Getting that first positive pregnancy test can fill the mom-to-be with so much love and hope. But, sadly, sometimes that excitement and hope can disappear right before your very eyes leaving sadness, grief, and loss in its place.
I would like to start by wishing everyone a Happy (belated) Easter. Many of us couldn’t be with our immediate family this holiday thanks to COVID-19, but I hope you were all able to make the best of a bad circumstances!
Drowning In The Haze It is almost 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wide awake and once again stuck here overthinking and overanalyzing every little detail of my … Continue Reading Drowning In The Haze
Feeling Empty Other than feeling empty inside, I am not quite sure how I am feeling. The pregnancy was definitely ectopic and stuck in my right fallopian tube. I went … Continue Reading Feeling Empty
“Do you know what it’s like to make the choice to give up your precious child because she was too fragile for this earth?”