It’s almost 1 am and usually by this time I have already been asleep for a few hours. Ever since I started my new job on August 2nd, on nights where I have to get up at 7:30 am for work, I take my night time meds around 9 pm and I am usually out within an hour. I am always so tired during the day since I am still trying to adjust to work life again so I haven’t had much trouble falling asleep at night.
I know I already published one very long personal post earlier, but it is after midnight I still pretty awake so I figured I’d blog a bit more about whatever comes to mind. Although, I did just finally take my night time meds around 11:45 pm which is way later than I am used to taking them since moving back to my moms so hopefully they kick in before 1 am so I can still get an okay amount of sleep before my mom and her dogs get up in the morning.
I know I have been posting blog post after blog post over the last several hours (thanks to mania and insomnia), but I thought I would try something a little different for me and write about 10 things I am grateful for this morning.
It is almost 5:30 in the morning and in just about 3 hours, my mom will be calling me to let me know if she is definitely picking me up this morning to take me to do some running around while my boyfriend is at work. I didn’t plan on not getting any sleep tonight, but I was (and maybe still am) a bit manic and when I get manic my night meds don’t always seem to put me to sleep like they usually do every other night.
I had an amazing day today and got to hang out with my bestie, Jazmine, and my god kids for a few hours today. I don’t get to see Jazmine and her kids that often anymore because she works full time and has 5 kids to look after. She’s like a busy ass super mom. I cherish the time we do get to spend together. We have been friends for like 22 years now. We met in middle school in science class in 6th grade. We started talking after she told me that she liked how I did my hair and we have been best friends ever since.
(Warning: This personal blog post came out longer than anticipated. Sorry for the long read!)
I feel like I am always exhausted and in need of a good cat nap. I don’t even work overtime or anything strenuous, but by the end of my shift at work I am usually ready to veg out in bed while flipping between Netflix and Hulu until it’s time for me to take my night time medications and go to bed.
I finally feel like I am on the right medication combination for my mental health disorders. It took 20 years of trial and error and getting prescribed more medications than I can even remember to get where I am today. I honestly felt like I’d never get to the point where I am okay on all my meds without any major side effects.
Another birthday has come and gone. This year on Tuesday, August 4th I turned 34-years-old. It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by already.
I would like to start by wishing everyone a Happy (belated) Easter. Many of us couldn’t be with our immediate family this holiday thanks to COVID-19, but I hope you were all able to make the best of a bad circumstances!
It seems like the world has gone mad due to the dreaded Coronavirus. Stores are nearly empty and despite their best efforts to continuously restock their shelves, it appears that they are just out of everything; there is nothing left.
My hand is healing slowly post-surgery. I got the stitches removed on February 27th, 2020, but I still need to wear the splint until March 26th. Needless to say, I am still trying to navigate life with my left (non-dominate) hand while my right hand is still out of commission. (Continue Reading…)
So as you may know if you read my last article, I’m having a baby! This will be baby number 5. Since my last article, I found out it’s another … Continue Reading The Countdown
So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted once again, but hey that’s what I’m known for. Time really seems to fly by for me. Always working, taking care … Continue Reading New Addition to the Family
“Roughly 60 Million Americans are affected by [a] sleep disorder every year,” and I am one of them – as some of you may already know. Some night I have issues with insomnia, other nights my sleep is completely broken and restless. It is not very often that I actually get a good night’s sleep, regardless of how long I am lying in my bed for. I could be lying in bed for 12 hours and yet only get 4-5 hours of solid sleep. I even have a prescription medication that I take every night (almost) faithfully.
There is no real way for me to perfectly explain how f-ing insane last night was for me, my bestie, Jazmine, my Goddaughter, Ally, and my boyfriend.
So, random thought from last night… I was working on a blog post — that I never finished — and it was titled “3am Thoughts,” and I couldn’t figure out what time “late night” transitioned into “early morning” so I settled on just saying “3am.” I probably spent way too much time being consumed by this question than I should have. And I didn’t necessarily feel like resorting to using Google to solve yet another debate for me. If you think that this a strange thing to be consumed by, you would not want to know about the rest of the crap that gets stuck inside my head!
This post contains some things that may trigger certain people. I am issuing a trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please use caution when reading. If you feel you may be triggered by these things do not read past here. Thank you.
What is verbal abuse? Can you define it? I myself have fallen victim to it and believed everything to be true. Verbal abuse is not only words used to belittle and hurt; it’s also used to control and manipulate. (Continue Reading…)
My new book, “My Bipolar Mind: You’re not alone,” if now available on paperback on Amazon.
It is currently a little after 8:30 in the morning and the bestie, Jazmine, and I have been hanging out all night and just talking about anything and everything under the sun. She was supposed to go to work today but instead is taking a much needed day off. It’s been a long time since we last stayed up all night together just talking. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though.