I was finally able to force myself to try to lay down and rest around 6 am, shortly after my I published my last personal post, but no matter how hard I tried I could not get my eyes to stay closed or my mind to shut down enough to get any rest. I laid on my moms pull out sofa from 6 to 9 am just playing on my phone and once my mom and the dogs got up I gave up trying to rest and just folded the sofa back up for the day.
I know I already published one very long personal post earlier, but it is after midnight I still pretty awake so I figured I’d blog a bit more about whatever comes to mind. Although, I did just finally take my night time meds around 11:45 pm which is way later than I am used to taking them since moving back to my moms so hopefully they kick in before 1 am so I can still get an okay amount of sleep before my mom and her dogs get up in the morning.
It’s been awhile since I last posted anything personal on here. Last month, shortly after my wonderful Sea Isle City vacation with my boyfriend, my life was once again flipped upside down and uprooted. I’ve faced and struggled with a few major life changes this past month.
I know I have been posting blog post after blog post over the last several hours (thanks to mania and insomnia), but I thought I would try something a little different for me and write about 10 things I am grateful for this morning.
It is almost 5:30 in the morning and in just about 3 hours, my mom will be calling me to let me know if she is definitely picking me up this morning to take me to do some running around while my boyfriend is at work. I didn’t plan on not getting any sleep tonight, but I was (and maybe still am) a bit manic and when I get manic my night meds don’t always seem to put me to sleep like they usually do every other night.
I left for vacation to Sea Isle City, New Jersey on Saturday, June 12, 2021 and returned back home this afternoon. I went with my boyfriend and his parents. They go down every year and meet up with extended family (minus last year, 2020, because of the pandemic) but this was my first year back there in like three years.
So, I’ve been a bit of a mess lately, Murphy’s law has been kicking my butt lately.
I had an amazing day today and got to hang out with my bestie, Jazmine, and my god kids for a few hours today. I don’t get to see Jazmine and her kids that often anymore because she works full time and has 5 kids to look after. She’s like a busy ass super mom. I cherish the time we do get to spend together. We have been friends for like 22 years now. We met in middle school in science class in 6th grade. We started talking after she told me that she liked how I did my hair and we have been best friends ever since.
Pop culture often references the stages of grief, but how much does the general public actually know about them? One thing generally missed is people should interpret the seven stages of grief loosely. No one experiences loss the same way. In fact, people go through the different stages in their order and can even loop back to one they already “experienced.”
(Warning: This personal blog post came out longer than anticipated. Sorry for the long read!)
I feel like I am always exhausted and in need of a good cat nap. I don’t even work overtime or anything strenuous, but by the end of my shift at work I am usually ready to veg out in bed while flipping between Netflix and Hulu until it’s time for me to take my night time medications and go to bed.
Image by Brian Merrill from Pixabay Its been a while since I posted anything and well lets just be honest, I could be doing a lot better with keeping up … Continue Reading Its been a crazy few months ya’ll…
I finally feel like I am on the right medication combination for my mental health disorders. It took 20 years of trial and error and getting prescribed more medications than I can even remember to get where I am today. I honestly felt like I’d never get to the point where I am okay on all my meds without any major side effects.
Christmas Eve was rough for me. I couldn’t find my normal Christmas cheer that usually surges through my veins almost every year. But I woke up Christmas morning with such happiness and excitement.
When things are going fairly well in my life and I am not on the outs with a loved one during the holiday season, I usually always feel a childish sense of excitement and eagerly await Christmas Day. But this year, it doesn’t even feel like Christmas time for me. It feels just like every other day of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that I get to spend tomorrow with my family and my boyfriend but it still just doesn’t feel like Christmas to me. And Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year.
I would like to wish everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Here is to hoping that 2021 will be so much better and less stressful for everyone!
(Warning: This is a long post! Sorry!)
This is a topic I don’t necessarily like to talk about as it’s difficult to talk about much less then writing about it. So a bit of a backstory before I jump into it. I was diagnosed back in 2014 with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Let’s welcome Rissa to My Bipolar Mind as she talks about her struggles with the loss of her Nana who passed away in 2017. Here is Rissa’s Story:
So, I have been tossing the idea around with one of my best friends about writing down how the last 3 years of my life has been seeing that 3 years ago today we laid my nana (Marie) to rest. She was my everything, my support, my world. She had a long battle with colon cancer and she had a lot of other health issues which I wont get into as I don’t remember them all.
Another birthday has come and gone. This year on Tuesday, August 4th I turned 34-years-old. It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by already.
I would like to wish all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day! This includes all the moms who, like me, weren’t lucky enough to be able to being their little one in to this world for whatever reason; all the moms who either miscarried, had an ectopic pregnancy, gave birth to stillborn, and who had to terminate their pregnancy for selfless reasons.
For women who want to experience motherhood in the worst way, finding out that you are finally pregnant after months or even years of trying can be an exciting moment. Getting that first positive pregnancy test can fill the mom-to-be with so much love and hope. But, sadly, sometimes that excitement and hope can disappear right before your very eyes leaving sadness, grief, and loss in its place.