It doesn’t matter how old you are when you lose a parent because it will always be difficult to live in a world without them.
Last night was horrible for me. I think I am still in shock and traumatized. My cat died last night. I heard a crash in the bathroom and happened to be right outside the door and when I looked in I seen my cat fall and snap his neck then fall over. I was the last thing Buddy seen before he died. I am so, so heartbroken right now. I have been crying since last night. I can’t even tell you what time it happened because when I saw what happened time stopped for me.
“Do you know what it’s like to make the choice to give up your precious child because she was too fragile for this earth?”
If you have been following my blog for a while, some time ago I was having issues with my heart rate skyrocketing above 200. I even had to have a Holter monitor put on for 48-hours. They had detected that my heart rate dropped to 35 during strenuous physical activity, and then it had gone up to 189 or so during rest. This is normal. My cardiologist, at the time, said that it was a fluke and that it would never happen again. He was wrong. It has happened three times since, and two of those times happen within this past week.
I apologize, once again, for being MIA, but for some reason, I have not been able to write anything – no blog posts, no articles, not one damn thing – and it is driving me absolutely insane! I am a writer and a blogger so writing is what I do. I would also like to add that I am also going to be a published author in the near future!
Sometimes unfortunate, unforeseen circumstances happen that can shatter our entire world and everything we know. They can leave us feeling like the walls are crashing down around us. Accidents happen every day, and they are something that we are, unfortunately, unable to predict or prevent them.
Today has been pretty good for me while also marking my first 4th of July Sober. But I managed to make it through with of too much of an issue. I did not even get my a** to a meeting like I should have. Then again, I also did not get any sleep like I should have… I have not been to bed yet and I tried everything I could think of, besides illegal stuff and drugs and alcohol, to get me to sleep but to no avail.