I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. I am in so much physical pain that sleep should come easy, but it’s not. Insomnia has its grungy hands all over me and it’s refusing to let go. It probably doesn’t help the situation any that I finally remembered to take my nighttime meds around 1:45-2am.
So, random thought from last night… I was working on a blog post — that I never finished — and it was titled “3am Thoughts,” and I couldn’t figure out what time “late night” transitioned into “early morning” so I settled on just saying “3am.” I probably spent way too much time being consumed by this question than I should have. And I didn’t necessarily feel like resorting to using Google to solve yet another debate for me. If you think that this a strange thing to be consumed by, you would not want to know about the rest of the crap that gets stuck inside my head!
From my last blog post just last night until sometime early this morning, I seem to have developed a touch of hypomania to add some variety to my life. I only got about an hour or so of broken sleep between 7:30 and 8:30 am. I was sure that after my ramblings last night I shouldn’t have much more to say, but I was wrong. From about 4 am until the time I went to sleep I just sat in bed and manically journaled until my hand started to cramp up. I had to force myself to stop writing in order to get the little bit of sleep that I did.
I feel like it has been a long, exhausting day when I hardly did anything today but attended a doctor appointment, make phone calls, and went to Dunkin’ Donuts. I am still in tremendous amounts of pain, especially a few of my teeth that need dental work done. Both sides of my mouth hurt and I am in a great deal of pain during and after eating almost anything.
I took my nighttime medications around 8:30 p.m. and thought that I would be asleep by now. I have journaled, read part of two different books, and played games on my tablet. While I am starting to feel a bit drowsy, it is not enough to be able to fall asleep. I intend to take an emergency sleep aid soon as it is almost midnight.
With all the advancements that humankind has made throughout history, it is astonishing how our society still has yet to come to terms with speaking up for mental health-related concerns and topics. We still have a long way to go before we can finally bury the stigma and misconceptions regarding mental illness. I am speaking out as just one woman who has dealt with mental health issues as far back as she can remember, and as someone who has cared for those that can not always care for themselves.
I have been up and going since yesterday afternoon with only about three hours of sleep last night. I was definitely on a bit of an upswing. I was so excited yesterday when I received my manuscript edits that it triggered a bit of hypomania. For me, just being overly excited can trigger it. I welcomed it with open arms until the agitation started to creep up to the surface. However, now, I can feel the crash starting to set in – already.
I am so happy that my friend asked me to go to the Halls of Horror with her in Palmerton, PA. I had such a blast. I was worried about my heart rate for nothing because it had actually dropped to 65 bpm instead of rising like a normal person’s heart rate should when they are scared or anxiety fueled!
This was my first time at a haunted attraction. I much say that I highly recommend putting this place on your bucket list.
Often times we turn the television on and see different newscasts about our next generation and all the things that seem to be evolving and changing as we push forward. One of the major things that do not seem to evolve and change is the fact that our next generation has become more dependent on opioids and other illegal drugs. The major question that many seem to be faced with today is simply why?
I know May of 2019 is still a while away, but I found out through Facebook that The 4th Annual Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk will be on May 3, 2019, from 9am – 2pm. The Lehigh Valley is in Pennsylvania and I am looking to get a group of people together to walk for this amazing cause that I am highly supportive of. Mental Health Awareness and helping others is the whole reason behind My Bipolar Mind.
Check out this VLog on the benefits of journaling for mental health and addiction. Plus, I added ways you can journal as well!
Once again, I am surprised that I am still awake after taking some many different things that could probably knock an elephant out. Okay, so, maybe I am exaggerating, but you get the gist. I may try adding a little CBD oil to tonight’s medication regimen. It worked well to help me calm down earlier, so perhaps it could help me wind down for sleep as well tonight.
Okay, so, I am not literally counting sheep until I fall asleep, but you get the gist.
It is about 12:30 am and I am slowly getting drowsy – most likely thanks to the 300mg of Trazodone that I take at night – but my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. I figured I would take this opportunity to blog a bit.
It’s not often that I find myself waking up with energy while in a great mood. So, I figured I would switch it up and make a post while my depression is suppressed for this moment in time. I want to savor this moment and place it safely in my memory – hopefully in a place where I will remember it 😀 – so that when I am feeling down I can pull this memory out and know that sometimes things are okay.