Christmas Eve was rough for me. I couldn’t find my normal Christmas cheer that usually surges through my veins almost every year. But I woke up Christmas morning with such happiness and excitement.
Guest Post by Rissa: Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Bipolar Disorder | Learn The Difference (Plus Info on BPD)
Let’s welcome Rissa back to My Bipolar Mind as she talks about the difference between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) vs. Bipolar Disorder (BD). She also goes over facts, symptoms, and treatment options for BPD.
It seems like the world has gone mad due to the dreaded Coronavirus. Stores are nearly empty and despite their best efforts to continuously restock their shelves, it appears that they are just out of everything; there is nothing left.
Sleep has eluded me all night and I’m starting to get a massive migraine from being overly tired and not being able to give into the sandman’s’ sweet embrace. I just want to sleep! Especially with how erratic my moods have been lately; sleep should come naturally and offer me even a slight bit of relief but it’s not.
I know Thanksgiving was about 3 days ago, but I would still like to wish everyone a very Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! I hope everyone who celebrated this holiday in the U.S. had a great day with their loved ones. I know the holidays can be challenging for many people; myself included.
Today is day two of some bothersome insomnia. It is said that about 25 percent of Americans suffer from acute insomnia and that 75 percent of those cases clear up on their own without an issue after a maximum of three months. However, I am more of a chronic case since I typically have insomnia that has lasted more than at least three nights a week for longer than a three month period. In my case, I have been dealing with insomnia issues for as long as I can remember.
I feel like I have been neglecting my blog… and I guess I pretty much have been. I have been up and down and have had some med changes since the last time I wrote. I am at a place where I am unsure where I am at mentally. Some days I am great, while other days I am not so great. But I am surviving and that is all that really matters anymore, right?
With yesterday, June 1st, 2019, kicking off Pride month I figured now was a better time than ever to create this post and let it all out there!
I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. I am in so much physical pain that sleep should come easy, but it’s not. Insomnia has its grungy hands all over me and it’s refusing to let go. It probably doesn’t help the situation any that I finally remembered to take my nighttime meds around 1:45-2am.
So, random thought from last night… I was working on a blog post — that I never finished — and it was titled “3am Thoughts,” and I couldn’t figure out what time “late night” transitioned into “early morning” so I settled on just saying “3am.” I probably spent way too much time being consumed by this question than I should have. And I didn’t necessarily feel like resorting to using Google to solve yet another debate for me. If you think that this a strange thing to be consumed by, you would not want to know about the rest of the crap that gets stuck inside my head!
From my last blog post just last night until sometime early this morning, I seem to have developed a touch of hypomania to add some variety to my life. I only got about an hour or so of broken sleep between 7:30 and 8:30 am. I was sure that after my ramblings last night I shouldn’t have much more to say, but I was wrong. From about 4 am until the time I went to sleep I just sat in bed and manically journaled until my hand started to cramp up. I had to force myself to stop writing in order to get the little bit of sleep that I did.
I feel like it has been a long, exhausting day when I hardly did anything today but attended a doctor appointment, make phone calls, and went to Dunkin’ Donuts. I am still in tremendous amounts of pain, especially a few of my teeth that need dental work done. Both sides of my mouth hurt and I am in a great deal of pain during and after eating almost anything.
I took my nighttime medications around 8:30 p.m. and thought that I would be asleep by now. I have journaled, read part of two different books, and played games on my tablet. While I am starting to feel a bit drowsy, it is not enough to be able to fall asleep. I intend to take an emergency sleep aid soon as it is almost midnight.
With all the advancements that humankind has made throughout history, it is astonishing how our society still has yet to come to terms with speaking up for mental health-related concerns and topics. We still have a long way to go before we can finally bury the stigma and misconceptions regarding mental illness. I am speaking out as just one woman who has dealt with mental health issues as far back as she can remember, and as someone who has cared for those that can not always care for themselves.