My new book, “My Bipolar Mind: You’re not alone,” if now available on paperback on Amazon.
I would like to wish everyone a safe and happy new year! I wish each and everyone of you guys and gals Peace, Love. and lots of Happiness in 2019. (Continue Reading…)
2018 is coming to an end and most people are planning out their New Year’s resolutions. After the chaotic year that I have had filled with so much loss and heartbreak, I am going into 2019 without many expectations. I am not going to say that this is the year that I will finally lose all this extra fluff that I carry around. I am not going to say that this is the year I get married (again). I am not even going to say that this is the year I hope they find a cure for bipolar disorder. (Continue reading…)
From my last blog post just last night until sometime early this morning, I seem to have developed a touch of hypomania to add some variety to my life. I only got about an hour or so of broken sleep between 7:30 and 8:30 am. I was sure that after my ramblings last night I shouldn’t have much more to say, but I was wrong. From about 4 am until the time I went to sleep I just sat in bed and manically journaled until my hand started to cramp up. I had to force myself to stop writing in order to get the little bit of sleep that I did.
I apologize for not blogging as much and for not creating “meaningful” posts like I used to. It’s temporary. Every now and again I will get severe writer’s block and will go days to weeks without writing anything at all. During these times, I seem to wander around aimlessly and not quite sure what to do with myself. I hope after writing a bit today (and writing this ridiculously long post) it will spark some more creativity inside my mind. I just need enough to finish the article I am working on for the time being.
My entire life I have been a people pleaser. I worry about everything I say or do. I worry about offending people. I worry about hurting others’ feelings while trampling over my own. Lately, I am sick of it. Lately, I have been saying how I feel or giving my honest opinion on situations when in the past I would tip-toe around everything out of fear or hurting others.
I feel like it has been a long, exhausting day when I hardly did anything today but attended a doctor appointment, make phone calls, and went to Dunkin’ Donuts. I am still in tremendous amounts of pain, especially a few of my teeth that need dental work done. Both sides of my mouth hurt and I am in a great deal of pain during and after eating almost anything.
I took my nighttime medications around 8:30 p.m. and thought that I would be asleep by now. I have journaled, read part of two different books, and played games on my tablet. While I am starting to feel a bit drowsy, it is not enough to be able to fall asleep. I intend to take an emergency sleep aid soon as it is almost midnight.
Not too long ago my friend was selling a few $15 HempWorx CBD Sampler Packs. I thought it was a better time than ever to give a try since I have been hearing such amazing things about HempWorx. My one friend stated that this CBD brand changed her life for the better. So, of course, I wanted in on this. Plus, even for samples $15 was not a bad deal. I went ahead and ordered one sampler kit.
With all of this good news and excitement, I still don’t feel quite right. Something still feels off for me. I don’t know how to explain it for once. I should be thrilled; I don’t have to see the PA anymore, I’m starting a new medication, my best friend is happier than ever, I am now on the cover design part of my book. I just don’t get it. Everything is going so well. I guess mental illness is tricky like that.
It’s a gloomy, rainy Tuesday in November. The sky is completely gray, and I kind of like it that way. I am not a sunshine-loving person – most of the time. I woke up around 6:30 a.m. and was hoping to be able to catch the sunrise in order to get some beautiful pictures – even though I am not fond of the sun – but with the clouds so gray there was no sunlight shining through
Today is going to be a big day for me because I am meeting my cousin, Ashley, for the first time since she was a baby – over 20 years ago.
This is a post I made back on May 30, 2017. I just started using this mood tracker – that I created – again recently. I find it so useful because you print it out and it is only one sheet of paper. I often take it to my therapy sessions to show my therapist how my moods have been. I just wanted to reshare this with everyone in case anyone is interested in trying it out. I used the link below to get it for myself so it should be working just fine.
With all the advancements that humankind has made throughout history, it is astonishing how our society still has yet to come to terms with speaking up for mental health-related concerns and topics. We still have a long way to go before we can finally bury the stigma and misconceptions regarding mental illness. I am speaking out as just one woman who has dealt with mental health issues as far back as she can remember, and as someone who has cared for those that can not always care for themselves.
I have been up and going since yesterday afternoon with only about three hours of sleep last night. I was definitely on a bit of an upswing. I was so excited yesterday when I received my manuscript edits that it triggered a bit of hypomania. For me, just being overly excited can trigger it. I welcomed it with open arms until the agitation started to creep up to the surface. However, now, I can feel the crash starting to set in – already.
As it turns out, I have developed what is known as the “Lamictal Rash.” But instead of taking me off it like my regular psychiatrist would have done, the doctor that examined me decided to lower the dose back down to just a mere 25mg. Now, 25mg was not even close enough to a therapeutic level for me. So I honestly don’t see the point in taking something that will not benefit me, and that has also caused me to get the dreaded “rare” side effect.
Birth of a New Brain by Dyane Harwood follows her harrowing journey of living with mental illness – something she thought would never happen to her. But, honestly, who does? Dyane takes you on an amazing adventure as she shares her whole life with her readers.
Today, I would like you to give a warm welcome to a special guest – and new dear friend of mine, Author Dyane Harwood. Dyane took a timeout to participate in a fun Q&A session with us for her book Birth of a New Brain–Healing From Postpartum Bipolar Disorder. I hope you enjoy reading Dyane’s answers as much as I enjoyed asking her the following questions.
In a recent post, I brought up all the resentments I have been thinking about that surround my oncoming bipolar depression. I really dislike this time of year as the sunshine disappears, the weather becomes too cold and the upcoming holidays. I do like Thanksgiving because I don’t go home for that. My husband and I started a tradition many years ago where we invite anyone that doesn’t have a place to go to have Thanksgiving with us. Last year was the first year it was just the two of us.
I honestly feel terrible right now – physically and mentally. I am so congested and it even hurts to breathe. It feels like it was not too long ago I had the summer flu that went around my area. I am absolutely miserable which always tends to bring my mood down quite a bit. But who doesn’t feel miserable when they are sick, right? I just want to take my meds, lie down, and go to sleep for the night. However, I am eagerly waiting for the edits for my book to come through my email since tonight is supposed to be the night.
Last night when I went to bed, I just had this gut feeling that I was not going to be feeling well the following day. Sure enough, I was right. I woke up feeling sick as all hell. I am a massive drama queen when I get sick. Although, I am nowhere near as bad as when a man gets sick! Sorry, fellas, but it is so true. Most guys act like they are literally dying when they just get the common cold! I feel too awake to rest, but yet feeling slightly fatigued at the same time. I didn’t know you could really have one without the other.
Often times we turn the television on and see different newscasts about our next generation and all the things that seem to be evolving and changing as we push forward. One of the major things that do not seem to evolve and change is the fact that our next generation has become more dependent on opioids and other illegal drugs. The major question that many seem to be faced with today is simply why?
It is mental health awareness day and I was asked to write about this from the parent’s point of view. I have a daughter with Bipolar 1. I’ve been dealing with this for over 20 plus years, and I’ve had to deal with this has a single parent whose child’s father was in and out of her life depending on whatever partner he was with at the time and if they allowed him in her life so most of the time he was not in her life… Please Continue Reading…
Today is World Mental Health Day 2018, and today is also my dear friend Dyane Harwood’s book’s one-year birthday. 🎂 Yes, Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain–Healing From Postpartum Bipolar Disorder was published one year ago today on October 10, 2017! We have a real treat for you guys today. To celebrate her books birthday, Dyane is giving away free PDF copies of her amazing book–and I highly suggest checking it out!
Today had been a very long, hypomanic fueled day. I was very productive and got a lot accomplished. I was able to get half an article done for BG — I know half an article doesn’t sound like much, but I haven’t been writing a lot for them. So, half an article is amazing for me right now — I was also able to find 5 people to on the Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk with me in May. I talked to countless people today because, well, being extra talkative can be a symptom of hypomania. I was pretty upbeat and kept myself busy with randomized tasks most of the day. But like always, a minor situation arose that spun me head first into an agitated bipolar state. (Continue Reading)
I know May of 2019 is still a while away, but I found out through Facebook that The 4th Annual Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk will be on May 3, 2019, from 9am – 2pm. The Lehigh Valley is in Pennsylvania and I am looking to get a group of people together to walk for this amazing cause that I am highly supportive of. Mental Health Awareness and helping others is the whole reason behind My Bipolar Mind.
Check out this VLog on the benefits of journaling for mental health and addiction. Plus, I added ways you can journal as well!
I am a bit disappointed to say that I did not make it to the National Suicide Prevention Foundation’s Annual Out Of The Darkness Walk. In part, it was not fully my fault. My boyfriend and I must’ve had some bad KFC yesterday because when we woke up this morning we both didn’t feel well.
Once again, I am surprised that I am still awake after taking some many different things that could probably knock an elephant out. Okay, so, maybe I am exaggerating, but you get the gist. I may try adding a little CBD oil to tonight’s medication regimen. It worked well to help me calm down earlier, so perhaps it could help me wind down for sleep as well tonight.
I guess WordPress is going to be having a new editor so I figured I would play with it and check it out. Plus, maybe writing a bit will make me feel better. I didn’t fall asleep until like 5:30 p.m. and I woke up around 11 a.m. I was in a pretty good mood to start and then part of my plans got canceled, I felt kind of bothered by social interactions, my stomach started to hurt, and the list just goes. I feel like just canceling the rest of my plans for today because I honestly don’t feel like socializing and being around others today.