Samantha Steiner

Insomnia Strikes Again

It is about 12:30 am and I am slowly getting drowsy – most likely thanks to the 300mg of Trazodone that I take at night – but my mind is running a thousand miles a minute. I figured I would take this opportunity to blog a bit.

I Woke Up Like This… Happy

It’s not often that I find myself waking up with energy while in a great mood. So, I figured I would switch it up and make a post while my depression is suppressed for this moment in time. I want to savor this moment and place it safely in my memory – hopefully in a place where I will remember it 😀 – so that when I am feeling down I can pull this memory out and know that sometimes things are okay. 

Through The Darkness…

My head has been completely crazy these past few days. Yes, I know my head is a mess most of the time anyway, but it just seems to have gotten worse. Lately, I feel like I am living in a fog. It doesn’t seem like this is my real life anymore. Money’s tight but other than that things are going well. My relationship is good, I am slowly getting back into writing, although, I do believe I took on more than I can actually handle at the moment. So, the question of the day is: Why do I still feel the way I do?

The Last Few Weeks: The Good & The Bad

I apologize, once again, for being MIA, but for some reason, I have not been able to write anything – no blog posts, no articles, not one damn thing – and it is driving me absolutely insane! I am a writer and a blogger so writing is what I do. I would also like to add that I am also going to be a published author in the near future!

The Sun Will Shine After The Rain

I want to start by apologizing for my absence from this blog. If you read my last few posts, I was stuck in a depressive episode. But like with everything else, the sun will shine after the rain. I still have gloomy moments but, for the most part, I have been feeling a lot better these past few days. A lot of that has to do with an exciting email that I received from an intern at a publishing company. 

I’m Okay Right Now…

I’m okay right now. But who’s to say how I will feel by later on tonight, or even within the next hour. But I am okay right now, and that is all that matters to me. I have been preoccupied and so consumed with being in this bipolar low that I haven’t really had a moment where I have felt okay. I am trying to enjoy it while I can. I feel like I have a moment of clarity inside of my chaotic mind for some reason. Or maybe I am just having a bit of mania breakthrough the dark clouds which are a welcomed change to feeling so low all the time.

| Lost In Thought |

Journaling helps but sort through a lot in my head. But when that’s not enough, I sometimes tend to turn to blogging. Creating a post for my personal blog section sometimes helps get things out in a similar way of journaling but, to me, it sometimes feels like it does so much more. So here is what’s been bogging me down internally:

Behind This Smile…

Behind this smile, I find that I am slowly losing myself again. Is it depression? Is it anger? I have no idea. I have gotten so good at hiding behind a broken smile that no one else can see me slipping away again. Some moments I am fine. Then others, I am not. I have been rapid cycling because I never know when my bipolar disorder is going to betray me again. I never know when it’s going to crash me all the way down to the bottom instead of partially.

5 One Minute Meditations For Mindfulness

Today, I have some amazing one-minute meditations for you to try. They are even great for beginners and are so simple that anyone could try these! These will help relax your mind and body. It can also be very beneficial for stress and anxiety reduction.

How To Do The Gratitude ABC’s

Gratitude ABC’s can work wonders for a variety of situations including anxiety or panic attacks, urges to use drugs or alcohol, anxiety-inducing situations, feeling low, or even as a distraction method. It is simple to do and requires only your mind and ability to think.

A Poem | Forgetting The Present

Photo by Nathaniel Flowers on Unsplash Forgetting The Present A Poem | Samantha Steiner Remembering the past But forgetting the present I would love to reflect and reminisce on today But today seems so far away Yesterday’s memories have already begun to fade… Read More ›

Late Night Thoughts | July 21st |2:30 AM

Its been an absolutely crazy week. I’ve been in the ER for my boyfriend a few times and once for myself as well. I have been having some major back pain again that even Kratom isn’t touching it. Either that, or I am not taking enough or not using the right strain for pain. I have been using white when I think red is for pain. Only problem is, red always puts me to sleep which I cannot do during the day.