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Samantha Steiner

Early Morning Thoughts: November 2, 2018

I am super excited because I received the final edits to my MS (manuscript) last night. Now, I guess it’s off to be formatted and will be done sometime early next week. I know I say this all the time, but this is such an amazing opportunity. My MS is coming together much faster than I anticipated!

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Baseline

Baseline I have been pretty much baseline the past few days. Not really elevated, but not really depressed either. I am just existing. I suppose baseline is considered to be stable. Although, with how chaotic my mind sometimes gets, I… Read More ›

Being The Only Non-Drinker At The Party & Tips On How To Survive

If you are in recovery and are worried about attending a holiday party, I can offer you some advice and tips on how I got through it. I am not telling you that you are going to feel comfortable being around your drug of choice and that it is going to be all sunshine and cupcakes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to relapse either. I do not advise anyone in early recovery to put themselves in the same situation that I was in, either. If you don’t have to go to a party just yet, then don’t go. It is so much easier to sit at home and be sober than it is to be around everyone having fun with a drink in their hand.

Hopelessly Bipolar

Hopelessly Bipolar My Manic Madness only lasted about three days, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any less painful. At first, I loved the manic episode I was in. I had the typical euphoric feelings commonly associated with bipolar mania…. Read More ›

Monthly Bipolar Mood Tracker

This is a post I made back on May 30, 2017. I just started using this mood tracker – that I created – again recently. I find it so useful because you print it out and it is only one sheet of paper. I often take it to my therapy sessions to show my therapist how my moods have been. I just wanted to reshare this with everyone in case anyone is interested in trying it out. I used the link below to get it for myself so it should be working just fine.

What Do We Honestly Have Control Over?

We waste so much time and energy on things that we have no control over, which is not good for our mental wellbeing. We tend to stress over these things and it can create mounds of anxiety that can bring us down. When you think of control, what do you honestly think you have control over? Take a minute to really think about it. If you were to make a list of the things you can control and a list of the things you have no control over, which one do you think would be bigger?

The Faces of Mental Illness: Society’s Misconceptions

With all the advancements that humankind has made throughout history, it is astonishing how our society still has yet to come to terms with speaking up for mental health-related concerns and topics. We still have a long way to go before we can finally bury the stigma and misconceptions regarding mental illness. I am speaking out as just one woman who has dealt with mental health issues as far back as she can remember, and as someone who has cared for those that can not always care for themselves.

Feeling The Crash

I have been up and going since yesterday afternoon with only about three hours of sleep last night. I was definitely on a bit of an upswing. I was so excited yesterday when I received my manuscript edits that it triggered a bit of hypomania. For me, just being overly excited can trigger it. I welcomed it with open arms until the agitation started to creep up to the surface. However, now, I can feel the crash starting to set in – already.

The Dreaded Lamictal Rash

As it turns out, I have developed what is known as the “Lamictal Rash.” But instead of taking me off it like my regular psychiatrist would have done, the doctor that examined me decided to lower the dose back down to just a mere 25mg. Now, 25mg was not even close enough to a therapeutic level for me. So I honestly don’t see the point in taking something that will not benefit me, and that has also caused me to get the dreaded “rare” side effect.

Dyane Harwood, Author of Birth of a New Brain, Q&A Session

Today, I would like you to give a warm welcome to a special guest – and new dear friend of mine, Author Dyane Harwood. Dyane took a timeout to participate in a fun Q&A session with us for her book Birth of a New Brain–Healing From Postpartum Bipolar Disorder. I hope you enjoy reading Dyane’s answers as much as I enjoyed asking her the following questions.

Late Night Thoughts: Sick & Hopeless 🤦‍♀️

I honestly feel terrible right now – physically and mentally. I am so congested and it even hurts to breathe. It feels like it was not too long ago I had the summer flu that went around my area. I am absolutely miserable which always tends to bring my mood down quite a bit. But who doesn’t feel miserable when they are sick, right? I just want to take my meds, lie down, and go to sleep for the night. However, I am eagerly waiting for the edits for my book to come through my email since tonight is supposed to be the night.

Monday Blues… Not Feeling Well

Last night when I went to bed, I just had this gut feeling that I was not going to be feeling well the following day. Sure enough, I was right. I woke up feeling sick as all hell. I am a massive drama queen when I get sick. Although, I am nowhere near as bad as when a man gets sick! Sorry, fellas, but it is so true. Most guys act like they are literally dying when they just get the common cold! I feel too awake to rest, but yet feeling slightly fatigued at the same time. I didn’t know you could really have one without the other.

Halls of Horror Haunted Attraction

I am so happy that my friend asked me to go to the Halls of Horror with her in Palmerton, PA. I had such a blast. I was worried about my heart rate for nothing because it had actually dropped to 65 bpm instead of rising like a normal person’s heart rate should when they are scared or anxiety fueled!

This was my first time at a haunted attraction. I much say that I highly recommend putting this place on your bucket list.

It Feels Like Fall, And I Love It

Right now, it is 53° outside, and I am loving every second of it. Fall is my favorite time of year! I also happen to love Halloween, even if I don’t get to go Trick-or-Treating anymore. I am so tempted to buy a Halloween costume, one with a mask, and try to go collect some free candy this year! Haha! I am only 5’4″ so I may be able to pull it off and say that I am a tall middle schooler! It just may work… Lol.

Could I Really Die From This?

If you have been following my blog for a while, some time ago I was having issues with my heart rate skyrocketing above 200. I even had to have a Holter monitor put on for 48-hours. They had detected that my heart rate dropped to 35 during strenuous physical activity, and then it had gone up to 189 or so during rest. This is normal. My cardiologist, at the time, said that it was a fluke and that it would never happen again. He was wrong. It has happened three times since, and two of those times happen within this past week.

World Mental Health Day 2018: Free PDF Giveaway of the Book Birth of a New Brain

Today is World Mental Health Day 2018, and today is also my dear friend Dyane Harwood’s book’s one-year birthday. 🎂 Yes, Dyane’s memoir Birth of a New Brain–Healing From Postpartum Bipolar Disorder was published one year ago today on October 10, 2017! We have a real treat for you guys today. To celebrate her books birthday, Dyane is giving away free PDF copies of her amazing book–and I highly suggest checking it out!

Feeling Like A Bad Person Today

Today had been a very long, hypomanic fueled day. I was very productive and got a lot accomplished. I was able to get half an article done for BG — I know half an article doesn’t sound like much, but I haven’t been writing a lot for them. So, half an article is amazing for me right now — I was also able to find 5 people to on the Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk with me in May. I talked to countless people today because, well, being extra talkative can be a symptom of hypomania. I was pretty upbeat and kept myself busy with randomized tasks most of the day. But like always, a minor situation arose that spun me head first into an agitated bipolar state. (Continue Reading)

The 4th Annual Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk 2019

I know May of 2019 is still a while away, but I found out through Facebook that The 4th Annual Lehigh Valley Mental Health Awareness Walk will be on May 3, 2019, from 9am – 2pm. The Lehigh Valley is in Pennsylvania and I am looking to get a group of people together to walk for this amazing cause that I am highly supportive of. Mental Health Awareness and helping others is the whole reason behind My Bipolar Mind.

There’s Always Next Year

I am a bit disappointed to say that I did not make it to the National Suicide Prevention Foundation’s Annual Out Of The Darkness Walk. In part, it was not fully my fault. My boyfriend and I must’ve had some bad KFC yesterday because when we woke up this morning we both didn’t feel well.

Late Night Thoughts: October 7th @ 2:30am

Once again, I am surprised that I am still awake after taking some many different things that could probably knock an elephant out. Okay, so, maybe I am exaggerating, but you get the gist. I may try adding a little CBD oil to tonight’s medication regimen. It worked well to help me calm down earlier, so perhaps it could help me wind down for sleep as well tonight.

Not Feeling My Best Today

I guess WordPress is going to be having a new editor so I figured I would play with it and check it out. Plus, maybe writing a bit will make me feel better. I didn’t fall asleep until like 5:30 p.m. and I woke up around 11 a.m. I was in a pretty good mood to start and then part of my plans got canceled, I felt kind of bothered by social interactions, my stomach started to hurt, and the list just goes. I feel like just canceling the rest of my plans for today because I honestly don’t feel like socializing and being around others today.

Sleepless In Allentown

Normal people are asleep right now. But as for me… I’m up like, “Yeah, let’s get productive!” I guess this may be the start of a hypomanic/manic episode. In all honesty, I don’t mind it as long as the agitation that is sometimes associated with mania doesn’t show up. I’d choose mania over a depressive episode any day!

Why Keeping Two Journals May Be A Good Idea

A majority of us only keep one journal and fill it with both negatives and positives. Not many of us even consider keeping more than one journal to write in. However, there may be some positive benefits in keeping two separate journals. One to document your lows, and one to write out when you are at baseline and feeling well.