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Category: Our Personal Blog

What It Reminds Me Of & Other Stuff

I’ve been having a hard time processing Wade’s death and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, yeah, he was my godkids father. So, yes, I feel beyond horrible with what they are going through, and with what my best friend is going through, but I just couldn’t […]

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Broken (Again)

I’ve wanted to post something for a while now, but just haven’t totally what to say or write. My life has been flipped upside down and I feel like I have lost so much. So, Mike left me. We are done and over and it hurts so much. […]

Completely Heartbroken

  Completely Heartbroken đź’” I’m drowning again, only this time I have a legitimate reason for being pulled under the water this time around. Sometime this morning when Mike, my boyfriend, wakes up he is going to be calling his dad to try to have him help find […]

Early Morning Anxiety

I just seem to be feeling overly anxious at the moment, and I only just woke up less than an hour ago. I cannot get my mind to just stop running wild. Today I will be getting my first paycheck from Babygaga. It still feels kind of unreal to […]

The Adventure Begins

  The Adventure Begins I am finally getting back to normal, and I love it! I was in such a bad spot with that depressive episode. Sleep was impossible, but that was all I wanted to do. I couldn’t sleep because my mind would not stop racing with […]

Looking Up: For Today

I am too scared to say that my depression has lifted because I don’t want to get my hopes up. What I can say is that, for today, things are looking up. Just because I have had one good day, for the first time in weeks, does not […]

Sometimes It’s Okay To Do Nothing

I had to repeatedly remind me that it’s okay to do nothing over and over this entire weekend. While my laptop was… down… I didn’t get any writing done so I spent the entire weekend vegging out with Mike and binge-watching OITNB. (yes, I LOVE OITNB… die-hard fan!!!) […]

Thinking About Life: July 11, 2017

After careful consideration, I have decided to quit my ghostwriting job. It just was not worth it anymore. I sent them an email about it and their only response back was literally, “Oh, wow!” and I have not heard anything since. I was so nervous when I did it.

July 9, 2017 @ 5AM

  Writing I am not exactly sure how I have been feeling lately. Probably all over the place per my usual self, I guess. I have not been able to keep up with blogging lately, I am slammed with articles between BabyGaga.com and ghostwriting. I am trying to do […]

“Love You, Hate Me”

  Love You, Hate Me By: Samantha Steiner 9/19/16 @ 3:24am You make me laugh You make me cry You fill my heart With so much joy Then you tear it apart And you just sit there Watching me bleed out Until there’s nothing left I love you […]

Project Save Hamp: Day 1

Project Save Hamp: Day 1 Let me start by saying this: this is not my typical blog post, but a friend of mine has an injured beloved family pet and with 4 kids she had to play the role of a very good vet. And because she has […]

July 4th, 2017

Today has been pretty good for me while also marking my first 4th of July Sober. But I managed to make it through with of too much of an issue. I did not even get my a** to a meeting like I should have. Then again, I also did not get any sleep like I should have… I have not been to bed yet and I tried everything I could think of, besides illegal stuff and drugs and alcohol, to get me to sleep but to no avail.

Ghostwriter Blues

  Ghostwriter Blues When I agreed to become a ghostwriter I didn’t realize that I would take it so hard once I started seeing another author take claim for all of my hard work. It’s that simple. The other day, I don’t know why, but I decided to […]

My Panic Attack: June 26, 2017

My Panic Attack: June 26, 2017 With my emotions running ramped, it is not surprising that I am having panic attacks. It’s also not surprising that they are back to back. What is surprising, is that the fact that looking into my kitchen, and seeing that it was […]

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 6

  Sea Isle City 2017: Day 6 (Thursday) For the first time since I have been on vacation, I did not isolate… at least fully. I spent some time working on my one article, even though my focus was horrific for some reason today. I just could not […]

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 5

Sea Isle City 2017: Day 5 (Wednesday) I am absolutely mentally exhausted. On top of my normal 6 articles a week, I had to do an extra 2 more due to another writer having an emergency. These articles should have been so simple, but they were in a […]

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 3

Today was a pretty bland day for me. I don’t think I really left the beach house we were staying at, except for stopping and picking up pizza. I really isolated today. In my defense though, the weather was pretty crappy. It was windy and cloudy. I was […]

Sea Isle City ’17: Day 2

Since I am using writing as my main coping mechanism for my mental health and addiction issues, I have come to the conclusion that it is probably in my best interest to try to add at least one blog post daily. Blogging, and writing in general, are very […]

June 17, 2017 S.I.C., NJ

I guess it’s safe to say I made it to my destination without much of an issue. I wish I could say I have been having the time of my life since I’ve gotten here, but that would be an outright lie. I mean, don’t get me wrong, […]

The Bottle Took Her

I feel kind of ridiculous now for posting about how going on vacation is going to be hard for me because of much I am going to want to drink. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it still rings true. However, I found out this afternoon that my […]

June 16, 2017 2:53am

I should be excited right now since I leave for vacation Saturday morning, but the closer it gets the more anxious I start to feel. This is going to my first vacation sober. I don’t know how well I am going to be able to handle that, especially […]

June 11th – 2:30 am

I haven’t really been able to add many posts or updates recently even though I’ve really been meaning too. I’ve just had a lot going on lately, so I figured that while I was awake at 2:30 am I would finally post my first update in a while.

My Nightmarish Manic Episode

My Nightmarish Manic Episode By: Samantha Steiner   A little over a week ago I had come out of a pretty bad depressive episode, only for me to jump right into a very bad agitated manic episode. I think I had maybe a day or two of baseline […]