I know that things can get better if I continue to hang on to whatever I can to keep myself alive.
Despite having ups, I am still having a lot of downs and last night I just started to feel completely defeated by life.
I weighed myself for the first time in a little while, and it’s worse than I thought. I knew I had put some weight on, but not as much as I have. I am completely disgusted with myself.
I really hate being Bipolar sometimes. The only two things I like about it is the creativity and the manic highs when you feel like you are on top of the world.
I had a dream about a big new house. It had many rooms and we all went outside. We had a huge pool that connects to the ocean. It was night time and we were all talking by the pool. All of a sudden two Dolphins came and […]
Lyrics and Official Music video for Logic’s song, “1-800-273-8255.
I am still wondering if I will ever get over the chaos that certain people instilled in me.
Between my family ditching me and then stealing my dog, the m/c, my mom putting my childhood dog down without them telling me or even asking me if I wanted to see him one last time, and everything else, I don’t want to do this anymore; I don’t know if I am strong enough to be able to do this anymore. But I guess I have to be.
I decided I will share my story of what happened to my children’s father. Our story begins way back when I was just 14-years-old. I had a friend tell me this cute boy moved to town and she wanted me to meet him because I was sad, she […]
What do I do from here?
The past two days have been pretty crappy for me. Although, today I have had two good things happen, but I just don’t feel up to celebrating my small victories. However, I will say what they are. This morning I wake up to a message from my sister […]
I just need to vent. It’s but such an irritating morning and it has only just begun. I didn’t get to sleep until close to 6 something in the morning and was rudely around 8 am to the very annoying sounds of water dripping. Let me just say that it is not raining outside but more so inside my apartment.
Is this ever going to get an easier for me? Will I ever stop longing for, and missing the people that hate me the most right now?
This is procrastination at it’s finest.
Hilarious note from my sister to the other inhabitants in her house regarding a war against rodent and humans.
I am going to try list three good things, or positive things, that happened today no matter how small it seems. I cannot expect to feel better if I don’t try to make any changes.
Do you know anyone that is in need of computer or electronic repairs?
So, I have come to the conclusion that I am in a mixed bipolar episode, yet again. For like the millionth time in my life. At first, I couldn’t figure out why I would be up and down at the same time totally. I have manic and depression […]
I am always looking at the negatives and tend to overlook the positives.
Tomorrow is my last day on vacation, I’m in Ocean City, Maryland. I usually come down here every summer with my four children and boyfriend. We absolutely love it here. There’s just something about this place. I’m dreading going home tomorrow. I was here back in August, so […]
I can’t believe everything that I have been through this year. It’s so surreal. Trying to think back to everything that’s happened feels hazy. Like I cannot even trust my own perception of time.
This is my family, the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally obviously love me conditionally or no longer love me at all, in general.
It’s like I have two sides of me; a happy side and a depressed side, and they happen to be stuck together right now. Or it’s more like good vs. bad internally.
Something amazing came up, and the first thing I wanted to do was call my mom to tell her this awesome new… then I stopped and thought, “Oh yeah, we’re not talking!” That completely screwed with my emotions. I was just so excited and then lost it. She […]
This is a bittersweet tragedy. I gained back what I wanted, which was my life back, but I ended up losing something in the process. One step forward, two steps back.
I keep bouncing in between feeling hurt and sad to feeling extremely angry regarding the current predicament that I find myself in.
Can I just start over? Make a fresh start, and forget everything that has happened to me since August.
“…Seriously though, I really do hate everything about you. As much as I hate you though, I feel obligated to love you.”
I have always been the bad one. The irresponsible one. The black sheep of the family. The one who’s always wrong. There is absolutely no point in me trying to defend myself or to speak my words. This is past words. This is dysfunctional and irreversibly broken right now.
I’ve been having a hard time processing Wade’s death and I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, yeah, he was my godkids father. So, yes, I feel beyond horrible with what they are going through, and with what my best friend is going through, but I just couldn’t […]
An overdose can happen to anyone, at any age. Not only does an overdose affect the life of the person who chose to put the drugs into their system, but it affects the lives of everyone that they know, or even knew.
I had a boringly eventful day. One might ask how something is boringly eventful. Well, what I mean by that is that I have had a pretty boring day (I spent about 90% of my waking day writing and doing outlines, and finding new articles to write for […]
I am slowly starting to get my life back. One day at a time, one piece at a time, and one moment at a time.
I’ve wanted to post something for a while now, but just haven’t totally what to say or write. My life has been flipped upside down and I feel like I have lost so much. So, Mike left me. We are done and over and it hurts so much. […]
Completely Heartbroken 💔 I’m drowning again, only this time I have a legitimate reason for being pulled under the water this time around. Sometime this morning when Mike, my boyfriend, wakes up he is going to be calling his dad to try to have him help find […]