Family

Racing Thoughts And Anxiety

I woke up at 4 am and almost immediately my thoughts started to race.

Merry Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve I have spent days now typing up blog post after post and deleting it or never finishing it. I have been doing the same with journal entries; writing them and then ripping them out. The same with article and… Read More ›

Tis’ The Season

Christmas is a little over a week away. I still have some gift shopping to do. I am going to try my hardest to enjoy Christmas since that has always been my favorite holiday.

I Don’t Know If I Am Strong Enough

 Between my family ditching me and then stealing my dog, the m/c, my mom putting my childhood dog down without them telling me or even asking me if I wanted to see him one last time, and everything else, I don’t want to do this anymore; I don’t know if I am strong enough to be able to do this anymore. But I guess I have to be.

Perception Of Time

I can’t believe everything that I have been through this year. It’s so surreal. Trying to think back to everything that’s happened feels hazy. Like I cannot even trust my own perception of time. 

Unlovable

This is my family, the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally obviously love me conditionally or no longer love me at all, in general.

It Wasn’t Supposed To Happen This Way

I have always been the bad one. The irresponsible one. The black sheep of the family. The one who’s always wrong. There is absolutely no point in me trying to defend myself or to speak my words. This is past words. This is dysfunctional and irreversibly broken right now.