Merry (Early) Christmas & Happy New Year

I would like to wish everyone who reads this a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Here is to hoping that 2021 will be so much better and less stressful for everyone!

New Years Goals

Many people start to create personal goals for themselves this time of year. They start to think about what changes they want to make in the new year to try to better themselves and their lives.

Usually, every year I start to think about what I want to change in the upcoming year around the Holiday Season. But for some reason, thinking about goals hasn’t occurred to me until I saw someone’s post on Facebook today asking what everyone’s new years goals were. And that got me thinking…

I had to think hard because I really don’t know where to start with everything that I want to change in my life. Of course I would want typical goals like losing weight or eating healthier. But those are typical goals that so many different people choose for the new year but I also want to create realistic, meaningful goals for myself that are actually achievable and that can change myself or my life for the better.

After thinking for a while, I know I want to take 2021 to work on my mental health. I crave stability mentally and emotionally. As of right now, I believe that I am on a good medication combination that has actually been helping me. I will always have my highs and lows. Afterall, I have Bipolar 1 Disorder among other things. But right now, I feel like my moods have been more manageable and less severe than they were even a few months back.

I am just not totally sure how.to go about working on my mental health in ways that are achievable and sustainable. I have this horrible habit of starting something new and going all out with it to the point of obsession for anywhere for a few days to a few weeks and then get bored with it or skip the new thing for a day or two and then gradually I end up stopping it altogether. It happens to me all the time when I try to make changes or implement something new.

I really wish I could figure out how to stick with stuff long enough to actually make real progress.

I know myself, so I know when creating goals I have to start small. My new therapist recommended journaling every day to help make it a healthy coping mechanism. The more you use your coping skills even when you don’t need them, the better they will work when you do need to utilize them. Perhaps I could make daily journaling a goal for the new year.

I love to journal but I don’t do it nearly enough right now. I have mainly only been journaling when something is really bothering me. My journal is filled with so much more negativity then positivity because of this.

For another potential goal for the new year I would like to actually try to create some sort of structure or routine so that when I get home from work I don’t just want to lay in bed and watch TV until it’s time to take my night meds and go to sleep. Everyone who has ever been on my professional metal health team suggests structure for people with mental health disorders.

In some twisted way, structure and routine kind of scare me. I know it would help a lot to follow a routine but I also love being spontaneous and just doing things in the moment. I feel like trying to follow a schedule will take that away and that I will still be spontaneous which will make the schedule void anyway. I am not quite sure how to get out of that mindset.

For 2021, I would also like to really get back to blogging regularly and creating posts that are informative, useful, and beneficial. I want to get back to creating mental heath related posts that allows my readers to learn about something new that might be able to help them. It has been some time since I created a post like that. And to my followers, I am sorry for slacking so much these past few months. But please be patient with me.

I have been through hell and back this year. 2020 has been filled with so much negativity, change, and loss for me. I lost a baby this year due to the pregnancy being ectopic. I accidentally cut my hand really bad and sliced through the tendons and needed surgery to repair it which led to a long painful recovery and tons of physical therapy. I have had to move a few times. I have only been back with my boyfriend since about August. But at least this time around things have gotten better than they once were between my boyfriend and I.

I am not where I want to be in life, but now that I have pulled myself together after multiple disability denials and found a job that has tons of room for advancement I feel like maybe there is the possibly that I could get my shit together enough to act like a real adult so that I could make some positive changes in my life.

I am getting used to working again – finally – and have been at my job three months as of December 22nd. That means that I was able to make it through my probational period.

I wonder what your goals are for the new year? If you feel comfortable, leave a comment below about what you want to change or work on for 2021. Maybe some of you can relate to me in regards to finding it hard to create goals and stick to them. I know I can’t be the only one who has starts things but never finishes.


Holiday Plans

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have to work 9am – 1pm. My boss is letting me leave early for the holiday. Then in the evening, my boyfriend and I are going to my moms house for dinner and to watch a Christmas themed movie.

On Christmas Day, we ae going to my moms again sometime in the morning to spend time with her, exchange gifts, and have an early Christmas dinner. I feel so blessed to be able to spend the holidays with my mom, my boyfriend, my siblings (minus my little sister because she has to work), and my siblings significant others. I feel lucky to be able to spend time with my loved ones when there are so many people this year that can’t do that because of the pandemic.

Thank the Heavens that all the people I cherish and care about the most haven’t personally caught COVID-19. I feel like this pandemic is going to go on for a long time and wearing masks everywhere is our new normal; our new reality. And let me just say that I hate wearing masks but I do it anyway because it’s a necessity.

It honestly frustrated me when I go to stores and see people who aren’t wearing masks. It makes me just want to shake the shit out of them and personally throw them out of the store myself. I know masks suck but the only way they are going to work and protect people is if EVERYONE wears them. Okay, rant over!

If you celebrate Christmas, what are your plans? Feel free to drop a comment below!


For Those Struggling This Holiday Season…

I know a lot of people struggle during the holidays for many different reasons. I have had years were my family and I were on the outs and I was miserable as hell. A few years ago when my family wasn’t talking to me and I was trying to get sober I couldn’t cope with my emotions. I was severely depressed and on Christmas night I had made a plan to end my life that day. About 1 or 2 am I texted my best friend, @jazminegonzalez87, to tell her that I love her. She was the only one I was trying to say Goodbye to. I didn’t expect her to be awake and reply back but her reply back about how her Christmas was miserable too was just enough to keep me distracted long enough to think about what I was about to do. Obviously I am still here and it’s because of Jazmine..

So, if you are struggling this holiday season, you are not alone. There are millions of people in this world and there are others who are going through something similar to you. If you are feeling really down and depressed and are thinking about ending your life or harming yourself, reach out to someone… anyone. Just try to find one thing to distract yourself and hold on to that with all you have.

If you feel like you have no one to talk to, reach out to some hotlines or warmlines that are designed to help people who are in a crisis. And if you are considering ending it, you are in a crisis.

You can text the number 741-741 and just say “hello” and someone will respond back to you no matter the time of day. It is a 24/7 crisis texting line. Just be honest with the person and let them know that you are really struggling. They are there to help you and they are trained in what they do.

Alternatively, you could also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline by calling 1-800-273-8255. They are also trained in what they do and are there to help you through your crisis. Like the texting line, they are available 24/7.

Do not feel ashamed to contact a crisis hotline. You matter, and your life matters. Bad, hard. and challenging days happen to everyone. You just have to learn coping skills that can help you deal with your emotions to get you by when things get rough. Take things one minute at a time if you have to.

I believe that everyone was put here for a reason even if we don’t know what the reason is until later in life. I used to feel like my life was pointless and that bad thing after bad thing always happened to me. I felt like I had no purpose. But after I created this blog and wrote my books I started to realize that maybe all those bad things happened to me so that I can help others who are struggling. I found a purpose for myself and it has helped my mental health greatly. Don’t give up and keep fighting.

If you ever need someone to talk to, vent to, or even cry to please feel free to send me an email and we can talk privately. You can email me at ContactMyBipolarMind@gmail.com. You may not know me, and I may not know you, but I am here to help. Sometimes the kind words of a stranger are enough to lift our spirits a bit when we are in a bad place.

I have contacted people from other blogs who offered the same support that I am offering to you and it really helped to talk to someone who was outside of the situation. You can get feedback and advice that you may not have thought of.on your own or from people who are close and know your side of the situation.


My Bipolar Mind Support Group

If you feel like you need some additional support, feel free to check out the My Bipolar Mind Support Group on Facebook. There are about 20k members and so many of the people in the group are very helpful, supportive, and can relate to you. There are some amazing admins in the group who make themselves available for people to reach out to when they need to talk privately.

Speaking of the My Bipolar Mind Support Group, I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to my lead Admin, @rissa88, for running the group and handling things for me these past few months. Rissa is a blessing to me and we have become incredibly close. I love this girl and I have never even met her in person. (Although we are making plans to visit one another sometime in the future when COVID has dissipated.) She is my rock and she is always, and I mean always there for me when I need someone to talk to.

If I hadn’t created this blog which lead to the Facebook group, I would have never met this wonderful woman. So, Rissa

Online support groups for mental health can be beneficial in so many ways. You can post about how you are feeling and get feedback from people who have been there or that can relate. You can give advice and feedback to others as well. It can really help you feel less alone. It can let you know that you are not the only one struggling with your mental health.

Not to brag, but I have gotten some really amazing feedback about the group from members. Some say they prefer the My Bipolar Mind group over some of the other mental health support groups on Facebook.

If you do decide to check out the group that was formed from this blog, there are three screening questions to answer in order to be approved when you click to join the group. Just answer the questions to be sure that your request to join is approved.

Try it out and get a feel to see if the group is right for you. All of our members comments need to be approved before they are posted because we were getting a lot of junk and scam posts for certain members. But the good thing about that is that you know the admins for the group care enough to go through and screen every post. They are looking out for your best interest. Don’t let that deter you from posting in the group.

We also let members know that if they have any issues or concerns that they can reach out to an admin at any time. We like to help solve problems so that members feel comfortable in the group. We also have admins that like to hardly sleep and are almost always available when someone needs them. Plus, my personal Facebook is linked within the group so that members can reach out to me at any time as well and I try to get back to them as soon as possible. In other words, there is always at least one admin available to talk to.


On a Final Note…

Once again, I would like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. No matter what your holiday plans are, I hope that you are able to have an amazing day regardless of whether or not you are going to be around your loved ones.

Even if you are alone during the holidays, reach out to friends and family to wish the well and show that you are thinking of them. When spending the holiday alone, perhaps you could do things that make you happy and bring you joy. Pamper yourself. Read that book you’ve been dying to start. Get your feelings and emotions out in a journal. Cook yourself a wonderful dinner. There are plenty of things that you can do during the holiday if you have to spend it alone for whatever reason.

Again, if the holidays have you feeling not the best and your thoughts start to turn dark, please reach out to the crisis texting line or the National Suicide Prevention Holiday like I mentioned earlier. Reach out to me if you have to. I will check my email regularly just in case anyone needs some support. I have been there before and know how it feels to be hurting so much that you would do anything to make the pain go away.

Cherish your loved ones if you will be spending time with them this holiday season. You never know when someone’s time is up on this Earth. Create new memories that will make you smile when you think about them.

Stay safe everyone and I know this post is extremely long, so if you made it to the end it is greatly appreciated!

Much Love,

Samantha


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Categories: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mental Health, Other, Our Personal Blog, Samantha Steiner, Samantha's Personal Blog, Self-Injury

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