Mother’s Day Blues

Mother’s Day Blues

Mother’s Day is officially over with but it has been a very emotional day for me. I was able to wish my mom and a Happy Mother’s Day, but I hid my own feelings most of the day.

I watched some Netflix to keep myself preoccupied today, but once the sun went down and everyone else was in bed I started to break down.

Today was 3 months and 8 days since my ectopic pregnancy surgery to remove my right Fallopian tube that ruptured along with my baby.

Today, I just want to be with my Angel babies. It was Mother’s Day, and I was supposed to be a mom, but that dream was taken from me. I am so heartbroken tonight. It’s after 2 in the morning and I have pretty much been crying since 9 p.m. I have tried so hard to hide my feelings from my loved ones and I only expressed what was going on to a select few.

I had a little candle light vigil for my lost babies tonight. Along with the candles I had this little teddy bear that I made from a rash rag sitting next to them. One day, I will be with my babies again. But as much as I want it to be, in a way, tonight is not the night that I will be with them again. I still have some life left to live.

I am pretty damn depressed tonight, but I know that it is a just the fact that it was Mother’s Day, and that tomorrow is a new day. I am not sure if I am this depressed because I am coming out of a manic episode or because if how I am feeling is totally situational; or a combination of the two. Either way, my heart is heavy.



Categories: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mental Health, Our Personal Blog, Samantha's Personal Blog

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: