Feeling Good Today
I didn’t think it was possible after my breakup, but I am in such a great mood today. I feel happy and that feels foreign in a way yet very great. I spent a good part of the day with my bestie. I love her to death. I got to hang out with my Godkids too. Today also happens to be my oldest Godson’s birthday. So I would like to give him a big shout out and to say Happy Birthday to him!
I thought today was going to be rough since I had contact with my ex yesterday and today is also his birthday as well. He had sent me a message out of nowhere saying that if I miss him to come see him. In the end, it turned out that he only messaged me because he wanted sex. I told him I am not about to be someone’s booty call. And after a conversation with him last night I did something that I didn’t think I would ever have the strength to do.
In the conversation we had the topic of being friends came up. In the end, I sent him a message this morning and told him that I basically can’t be friends with him if I want to get over him. I told him that I love him but that we can’t talk. I told him to never contact me for sex again either. I asked him if he understands and that I want to end things on good terms. He said he understood and to never contact him again either.
Sending that message was so hard. I wished him a happy birthday too though. It’s the last time I will ever do that. Walking away fully is hard, but I am doing it.
Even with the contact with my ex, my day ended up turning out to be great. Then, tonight, this girl that I have a crush on contacted me. We talked and had a wonderful conversation. I really like her and want to get to know her better. We may be hanging out tomorrow so I am really excited. I am going to my bestie’s house tomorrow and she said to invite the girl I like so I did. And it seems like it might happen.
I didn’t think that I would actually be able to feel for someone else after my ex. It was a really toxic relationship. But I had a crush on her even when I was with my ex and I am pretty sure he knew it. I didn’t act on anything though.
I just hope tomorrow goes well and that this girl comes over to my best friend’s house to hang out. 😍
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.