Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed
Have you ever woke up and just felt like it was going to be a bad day? That is my current situation and I haven’t even been awake two hours yet. I just completely feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I got up around 9 am but my sleep was absolutely restless. I woke up about every hour or so and once I finally fell into a deep sleep I had a horrible nightmare.
I dreamt that I was trying to get away from my step dad and kept stabbing him but he just wouldn’t die. In my dream, I must have been a teenager because I kept trying to pack my stuff and runaway while my step dad was trying to get into my room to seek revenge for his wounds. It was so vivid and felt so real. It was a pretty traumatic dream which could part of the reason I feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
It probably also doesn’t help that I just got an email yesterday notifying me that Babygaga is partially shutting down. They are only keeping their organic lists – which luckily I had recently started writing for as well. Within one month, The Talko’s organic list shut down and now the regular BG lists. I can’t help but to worry that the BG organic list will be next.
To make up for The Talko’s organic list shutting down I picked up a site called Moms about a week or so ago. But no matter what, I am now suffering a big loss because of BG. I really should have seen this coming, and who knows, maybe I did but didn’t want to believe it.
I started writing for BG July 2017. It’s insane how quickly time has passed. In some ways it feels like it’s been longer than two years; like I have been doing this my whole life. In other ways, it feels like I just started writing yesterday.
This is too much change in a short period of time for my liking. I feel like I am just stuck in limbo waiting for something to happen – anything to happen.
I’m going to try to have a good day…
Despite waking up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, I am determined to try to have a good day anyway. After waking up pretty crabby, I talked to my mom for a little and just getting out of my misery for a little made me feel a bit better.
Then, my best friend stopped by a little bit ago to say hi which made me feel even better.
I just need to try to keep reminding myself that it is only a bad morning, and that these things happen. Otherwise, how I am/was feeling has the potential to consume me whole.
I am trying my hardest to get out of this morning funk. I even put on some music and am trying to pull out some motivation to start writing today. (Something besides blogging) Even though I am trying to look on the brighter side, I can feel my thoughts pulling me in all different directions. It is honestly becoming an internal struggle right now.
I better try to get some work done…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.