Days Like Yesterday
By: Nicole Renae
I wake up, not wanting to move.
I get up, pushing through. One thing, and then another.
Seems like I'm on a hill, everything crashing down.
My heart aches my heads fuzzy.
I'm pissed off at the world.
You, I'll take you down with me.
I seclude myself so I won't hurt people.
I'm damaged goods.
Until that moment I'm no longer weak.
That moment that I can speak.
That moment that I can see, feel clearly.
When I don't sabotage what I have going for me.
Days like yesterday they break me.
Down, down, down, I fall.
Throughout the day it's on repeat.
I sleep and sleep and sleep,
so maybe I will wake up with a new step to a beat.
Days like yesterday when nothing goes right.
All I want to do is fight.
But that's clearly not right.
Days like yesterday I smile and say I'm fine
when in all actuality I'm dying inside.
Days like yesterday happen too much.
I'm sorry for days like yesterday, they're just really rough.
No, I don't hate you, no I'm not mad.
I just don't know what or how to feel.
Except for extremely sad.
Wait no maybe I am mad.
Or just happy for all the things I once had.
maybe that's not right.
But inside my mind. Well, you see nothing feels right.
Days like yesterday... are a mystery to one with a bipolar mind.
Days like yesterday are just another day in the life.
About the author:
My name is Nicole Renae, I just recently started writing again after a long break. I’m not a professional writer or blogger by any means. Just a regular Jane. Most of my life has been a struggle, my childhood was not bad by any means, there are things that I only get bits an pieces of memories from because I’ve blocked things out. I’ve personally been diagnosed Bipolar with manic depression, insomnia, PTSD and DID. Extreme panic and anxiety disorder. So first-hand experiences with feelings and all the lovely things that come along with those beautiful things. What I mean by beautiful things is, it took me a long time to understand these things that help make up a fraction of me, I’m still learning and taking it day by day to manage these things.
I’m a single mother of 3 beautiful babies, which whom two of them are very different than most kids their age. My oldest has ADHD, insomnia, anxiety disorder and PTSD. My son, he has ADHD and he is also autistic, which is a handful, but he is the most amazing little boy ever. My youngest, well shes just an interesting little sassy pants. I work, I play, and I create. I love to help anyone I can by sharing my story, and learning new things to help cope and share them with others In Hope’s to make their lives a little easier. I’ve been writing poetry and short stories since I was in the 7th grade… which good lord that was a while ago? My goal is to help as many people as I can to get through their day, cause God knows I’ve had days where I didn’t think I could or would.
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.