Feeling The Rush…
Yesterday was an excellent day for me. I was and still am in a very good mood. Yet, part of me is worried that this feeling is going to crash at any minute and my depression will return. But I am trying to not think like that because I want to really enjoy this happy feeling. It is also slightly euphoric. I am not sure if it is getting ready to turn into a manic episode. Who knows, maybe it is already one! I woke up yesterday to a very nice review of my book. The fabulous woman I was talking to helped start an AA and NA program in Africa and they are also trying to learn how about bipolar disorder. So, she is sending them a copy of my book so that they could learn more about this disorder that has affected millions of people. So I decided to donate a few books when I get my author copies. It is for a good cause so I want to help any way I can.
Yesterday, I also received a very nice comment/review of my book right here on the blog. It is pictured to the right. If you are viewing this on your phone, I apologize if the writing looks a little weird with the picture. I had to make the pic large enough for people to still be able to read.
I would really love to thank David for his awesome comment. It made me feel so wonderful that he liked my book and can relate. Although I am happy he can relate, it also saddens me knowing that he had felt the way I have in my book.
At first, I was very depressed about what I had written – even though it was my truth and my story – but the people mentioned in my book are okay with it and understand that what happened was in the past and that was just how I was feeling at the time. By people telling me this, I started to feel much better. And then after these positive reviews, I am beyond thrilled and I am really starting to feel some kind of major rush from my book being released.
I feel so blessed and grateful. It is almost like a natural high for me. I’m up in the clouds right now and I really don’t want to come back down.
When I was about 18 I wrote an entire manuscript called Life Gone Wrong, and I just pitched it to Eliezer Tristan Publishing since I am so happy with the work they did on my new book, My Bipolar Mind: You’re not alone. (You can click on the highlighted name of my book to be taken to Amazon if you are interested in checking it out or purchasing it. Amazon also has this nice “Look Inside” feature that will let you read the first few pages/chapters to see if you are interested in reading further!)
Life Gone Wrong is like my baby. I mean so is My Bipolar Mind: You’re not alone, but LGW was the first thing that I have ever written and it needs to be edited in the worst way. I mean, I was just 18 and I didn’t have the experience that I have now when it comes to writing. Wish me luck on this pitch! I am not sure that they are going to take it on but I really hope so!
I am going to try to hang onto this high as long as possible. (I just want to be clear that I am not talking about a drugs and alcohol kind of high! On January 27th, 2019, it will be 17 months since I last had my last drop of alcohol!) I like feeling up and happy; I mean, who doesn’t, right? It is not often that I feel like this. I do have happy days, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t always get the chance to blog about it. Or my emotions will switch without warning and then my post ends up being about how bad I am feeling.
Thanks for reading! Until Next Time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.