Too Good To Be True

Too Good To Be True


Chtistmas was really good for the first time in a while. I enjoyed the whole day, until about 10pm. My laptop had this blue screen pop up that had a “:(” on it and it said something ablout an error and that it would restart. Well, it never restarted and my laptop is now dead with everything that I had on it.

I am writing this post on my phone, so please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. I am so sad about my laptop. I actually started crying and once again, I lost everything including pictures that I can never get back. All the stuff for the My Bipolar Mind book was on there. Hopefully, I still have everything saved in an email somewhere for the book.

I am not sure when I am going to get another one either. It could be today, tomorrow, next week. I have no idea. I am at the mercy of others since I cannot afford to buy myself another one any time soon. As a writer, the loss of my laptop is devastating to me.

I dont know what to do with myself today. I isolate a lot, my laptop is part of my world. Now, I have to tell my BG editor that I’m going to be delayed even longer. This really sucks. I knew Christmas was too good to be true. Something bad always happens to me.

I get it, its just an object that can be replaced. But I use my laptop more than the average person. I feel like my entire life was on there. I hate doing posts from my phone because it just doesn’t have the same feel and I can’t do as much. Ugh. FML.

I just want to go back to bed and curl up under the blankets and disappear today. I also got my denial letter from disability so I have to try to appeal it and find a lawyer. I have no motivation to do anything right now.

Sometimes it’s the tiniest of things that can send me spinning downward. I feel like maybe I’m not meant to be fully happy. Yesterday was almost perfect. Even my dental pain didn’t have me feeling too down. Now, I am feeling pretty low and I am stuck in my own head and it was a stupid laptop that started this spiral.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. Until next time…

Samantha

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Author: Samantha

Samantha Steiner is the author of the new book, "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," which is now available on Amazon. She is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog, MyBipolarMind.com.

4 thoughts on “Too Good To Be True

  1. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about your computer, Sam.
    What a f*cking nightmare.

    I wish I had a lot of $ so I could buy you one! Is it possible to borrow a computer from someone you know or see if a local computer repair place could fix it & you could explain your situation & make payments? You could also place a free ad on Nextdoor (for your neighborhood) to see if someone could help – you never know!

    I’ll have you in my prayers — don’t give up and don’t let this awful crap bring you down any further!!!!!
    Keep us posted!
    XOXOXO
    Dy

    1. Hey Dy,

      Aww, you are such a sweetheart. I really appreciate the thought. Thank the unknown angels because Mike took a second look my laptop and was able to fix it this time! I was so devastated when it broke! I am grateful to him for fixing it for me. I am going to create a new blog post soon with the good news! We really thought it was a goner.

      Much love,
      Samantha
      Xoxoxoxo

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