Appointments Galore & Other Stuff
I feel like all I do anymore is go to doctor’s appointments. This has not been a good week for me. Wednesday at 4:30 am I woke my boyfriend up to take me to the ER. I was in a tremendous amount of abdominal pain, I couldn’t tinkle no matter how hard I tried and the little bit that came out had blood in it. The abdominal pain radiates to my back as well. At the ER, I was seen almost immediately and when I had to try to give a urine sample, the little that came out was bright red. They gave me a pelvic exam, a bunch of ultrasounds, they did blood work, a urinalysis, and even a CT scan.
By the end of it, they told me I had a bladder infection and then they told me they found something wrong with my uterus giving me, yet again, another diagnosis to add to the list. I have something called Adenomyosis. According to WebMD.com, it’s when the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus. It can cause things like heavy periods, it can be extremely painful, it can cause infertility, and it is one of those things that you either have to live with or get a hysterectomy. I know this is a lot of TMI, but I feel like I need to get it out of my head or off of my chest or however you want to look at it.
I have so much stacked against me in the infertility department. I also have something called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which can lead to infertility. All of this could possibly explain why the only times I have gotten pregnant ended in early miscarriages and why I am 32-years-old with no children. I have been told on numerous occasions that the chances of me ever having a baby are slim to none. Now, I have an appointment on Monday with my GYN to see what’s really going on. Wish me luck with this one you guys! I am extremely nervous about this appointment.
Then, Wednesday I see my PCP (Primary Care Physician) for a routine check-up. I also have to try to get my blood work done before this appointment. They are way overdue. I did ask them twice to send me the script for the blood work and the first time they never sent it, so I am hoping that when I get the mail today it has finally arrived.
Thursday, I have an appointment with my cardiologist to get the results from my Cardiac Event Monitor. I am worried about this appointment too because I did have two minor events happen, maybe more, while I had the monitor on. I’m really hoping that they are able to find out what’s wrong with me or at least see that I am not embellishing on what happens with my heart rate. The one event woke me up from a dead sleep about a week or two after I started with the Cardiac Event Monitor.
Yesterday I had therapy and we talked about my crying spells and she seems to think that deep down they are validated. I told her that yesterday was day 8 of being on the Tegretol and she said that I do seem much calmer and lucid even though I was tearful. She said she has her fingers crossed that this is the right combination for me. I hope so too! We both agreed that the drowsiness I feel is better than being all over the place and that the drowsiness should subside after I have been on it a little longer.
To be honest, I have noticed that at least during the hours when it is light outside that I am starting to get a little bit of my energy back. However, come 4:30-5pm when it is starting to get dark, I automatically start to get a lot more tired to the point where I either take a nap or go to bed early. I have also been sleeping pretty good, minus waking up around 2:30-3am every night.
Today, I also have yet another appointment. This one is for the consultation to have two teeth extracted. It is at 2pm and it is just after noon for me right now. I hope that they can do this extraction rather soon. Maybe I will get lucky and they will do a weekend appointment to have it done. I just have to stop by my regular dentist’s office to pick up the referral for the oral surgeon before I head to this appointment today. Afterward, I have to get my antibiotics filled for my bladder infection which I still haven’t done yet.
I am getting so sick of all these appointments and just kind of want to be able to focus on writing. At the same time, I know that I need to have all this appointments so that I can keep up with my health. Every day that I have an appointment I battle with myself to keep myself from canceling every appointment. It’s like an internal struggle. Then again, I fight with myself to get out of bed every morning too. I have been trying to create some kind of structured routine for myself. I am starting by trying to wake up every day between 8-9am and I have been trying to go to bed between 9-10pm. Although, lately, I have been going to bed much earlier unless the bestie is over.
Thanks for reading! Until next time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.