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Monday Blues… Not Feeling Well

Monday Blues… Not Feeling Well

Last night when I went to bed, I just had this gut feeling that I was not going to be feeling well the following day. Sure enough, I was right. I woke up feeling sick as all hell. I am a massive drama queen when I get sick. Although, I am nowhere near as bad as when a man gets sick! Sorry, fellas, but it is so true. Most guys act like they are literally dying when they just get the common cold! I feel too awake to rest, but yet feeling slightly fatigued at the same time. I didn’t know you could really have one without the other.

Last night while I was journaling, I started to feel hopeless. Not really depressed, but just hopeless. Yet another thing I thought was always paired together. I also realized that I forgot to pay my cell phone bill and it’s due tomorrow. I am flat broke. I don’t know what I am going to do now. I’m all worried and panicked about it. My cell phone is honestly my lifeline. I cannot believe that I forgot to pay it! My boyfriend said when he gets home we will try to figure something out. But it doesn’t stop the hopeless feeling regarding that aspect. 

I feel like I am writing constantly and getting nowhere. Half the time, we cannot afford food so I am forced to eat one meal a day – if I’m lucky maybe two. And oh man am I sick of Ramen Noodles! I feel like it’s all my fault because I am always broke. I feel like I got sober and stopped drinking to always be broke. I don’t know what happened. I was doing so well financially just to fall flat on my face. Again, furthering the feelings of hopelessness. 

It’s been awhile since these feelings surfaced. I am not quite sure what to do with them. I seriously hope that these feelings are not the start of a low. I am hoping that it is just because I am not feeling well and suffering from the “Monday Blues.” 

Yesterday was a good day. I was able to get an entire article completed and submitted in one day. It was the first time I was able to do that in a while, and It felt pretty damn good. I wish I could be that productive everyday! By the end of the night, I was exhausted! I feel asleep around 11:30-12ish at night and slept straight through until about 8am. I ended up waking up from a nightmare/flashback and was just not feeling well. It took me a moment to realize it was just a dream.

It sucked because it was basically a flashback to how my “stepdad” used to get when he would flip out. It was just not a pleasant dream. I feel like I woke up re-traumatized. Even though I was fully aware that it was a dream/memory and that it couldn’t hurt me, I still felt really anxious and uneasy. I still remember the whole thing that it just happened yesterday. PTSD can be draining both mentally and physically.

Well, I have some outlines to prepare for the week. Since I finished all my articles that were due and I have nothing that needs to be turned in until Wednesday now, I am going to TRY to create a decent blog post about something useful!

Much Love,


Samantha View All

Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog

3 thoughts on “Monday Blues… Not Feeling Well Leave a comment

  1. Hey!! I emailed you earlier this a.m. with some health info. that has been on my mind for the past couple days – I hope it’s helpful and that it didn’t freak you out too much – remember, knowledge is power!!!

    And I’d LOVE to see your author profile – send it my way when you can!

    As far as your outlines getting done AND approved for BabyGaga – that’s INCREDIBLE!!!!!!


  2. I’m so sorry you felt so dang icky today. I could relate to those feelings, bellieve me!!!
    I also hope they aren’t the start of anything low for you so I’ll pray for you about that to my Unknown Angels!

    I hope you were able to work out a plan with your boyfriend for the cell phone bill. I’ve been through so many money stresses that caused huge amounts of anxiety. I’m hoping that you get some kind of windfall so you don’t need to worry about it!

    That’s incredible you wrote so much yesterday & turned in your article- I’m impressed!!!!
    You get an A+ for that!😜

    I realized today I never thanked you for an email you sent me a few days ago and
    I will write back! Forgive me for being flaky. (Well, “lazy” is really the word for it!)
    I’m really intrigued about that supplement you mentioned (I never heard of it before) and I bookmarked the website so I can take a close look.

    I hope you’re having a good night and that tonight will be sweet dream and nothing like that awful nightmare.
    On a MUCH brighter note, good luck with the outlines, sweet Sam!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Lovely,

      Thank you so much! I really busted my hump to get that article done, find pics, edit, and submit it. It took 9 hours, but I got it completed! I appreciate my excellent report card grade! Haha.

      I’m still not feeling well and I am having a hard time breathing from all this nasty congestion. I’m definitely feeling on the lower side today, but at least I have therapy tomorrow so I can talk to her as well. I’m still feeling quite hopeless as well. I appreciate the prayers to those wonderful unknown angels! They are definitely needed right now.

      It’s totally fine about the email! Whenever you are feeling up for it is fine with me! Once you take a look at that site you bookmarked, let me know what you think! If you have any questions, I’d be more than happy to answer what I can!

      It is a wonderful supplement that has helped me immensely. (When I remember to take it – ha!)

      I was able to get all three outlines done and approved today for BabyGaga. If I remember, and if it’s okay, I would love to send you my author profile to check out. It has only some of the articles I have done for them. In total, I have 196 articles published with them. That is for a little over a year.

      Have a good night my dear! I look forward to hearing from you again soon!

      Love always, Sam 💖💖💖💖💖❤💖💖💖💖💖


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