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There’s Always Next Year

There’s Always Next Year

So, I am a bit disappointed to say that I did not make it to the National Suicide Prevention Foundation’s Annual Out Of The Darkness Walk. In part, it was not fully my fault. My boyfriend and I must’ve had some bad KFC yesterday because when we woke up this morning we both didn’t feel well. My stomach hurt so bad. After sipping on some Gatorade, my tummy is feeling a little better. At least I feel well enough to finally take my morning medications. 

I have to keep telling myself that it’s okay that I missed it and that there is always next year. I was a bit hard on myself this morning for missing it. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I am hoping that maybe there really is a reason that I missed it this year. Even though I believe everything happens for a reason, it doesn’t mean that I have to actually like the reason. Ha. 

I was talking to this amazing woman, we’ll call her Dee, (I mentioned her in my last post) this morning and hopefully, we can make our plans work for her to fly out here next year to meet and walk together. I feel so blessed to have been able to connect with her through the My Bipolar Mind Facebook Group (Sorry if this sounds redundant!). I am super excited about this! She seems like such a wonderful woman and she is such an inspiration. Her comments always make me smile. 

I have been using my CBD oil a lot lately, I think I am really going to have to invest in some more. Luckily, the first brand I tried seems to work wonderfully. I use the brand Koi. I found my absolute favorite to be the Koi Naturals 500mg in Spearmint. It tastes amazing! I either use it under my tongue or in a vape pen. I have found that both ways are beneficial to me. Plus, it keeps me from taking my boyfriends drums and stabbing it to death! 😆

Currently, I am getting away from the noise by adding more noise. Lol. I have music on blast in my headphones. Oh, wait, I think the drum solo is over! I must admit, he is pretty good though! The only thing I am not crazy about with the Spearmint CBD oil is that if I burp (gross I know!) afterward it kinda reminds me of peppermint schnapps. And being in recovery, that kind of after effect is sickening sometimes. But the initial flavor is amazing, and the benefits outweigh that feeling! It could just be me, though.

My mood today, so far, has been pretty good despite my tummy woes. I am just glad the agitation feeling has subsided from yesterday. Bipolar agitation is the absolute worst. I would like to thank everyone who showed me some love when I wasn’t feeling my best yesterday. I greatly appreciate it. It can feel very lonely when you aren’t feeling like your best self. It can trick your mind into thinking that no one could possibly understand how you are feeling when in reality there are tons of people who understand what they are going through. 

Well, I suppose I have procrastinated long enough. Time to write some articles! Until Next Time…

Samantha View All

Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog

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