I Woke Up Like This… Happy
It’s not often that I find myself waking up with energy while in a great mood. So, I figured I would switch it up and make a post while my depression is suppressed for this moment in time. I want to savor this moment and place it safely in my memory – hopefully in a place where I will remember it 😀 – so that when I am feeling down I can pull this memory out and know that sometimes things are okay. I may have a lot of negative things going on, but I also have a lot of positive things going on.
Yesterday was horrible for me. I got into a major fight with my boyfriend and we talked for literally about 6 hours straight. We really opened up and talked about difficult issues. We learned more about each other. After 6 years, I didn’t think that there was anything else we could learn about one another. I told him things that I have never told anyone.
It is not often I say this but… I am glad that this fight happened because we got a lot out and got a lot situated. No relationship is perfect. There will be ups and downs, and if there aren’t then there is something wrong there. But it is about sticking it out through thick and thin.
I would also like to thank Mike, my boyfriend, for paying for the renewal of My Bipolar Mind. So, thank you. I really appreciate what you have done for me. I would also like to thank the people who did donate to help with some of the costs of running and maintaining this blog. You all mean a lot to me.
I would also like to thank all of my followers, in general, including everyone who follows the My Bipolar Mind FB page and who is in the FB My Bipolar Mind group (It’s like a support group where we are all there for one another. I allow people to post freely as long as they are respectful to one another. You can click on the links above to check them out!) You guys mean so much to me. Without all of you, this site wouldn’t be what it is today. I most likely wouldn’t have kept up with blogging if it weren’t for you guys! Much love to you all!
I am going to be going through a medication change thanks to the County Assistance Office telling me that I no longer qualify. I appealed it and they said they would turn my insurance back on until the hearing or whatever but that never happened. When I try to call or contact them they never answer or get back to me. So, since some of my meds are pretty expensive (anywhere from $50 – $1,206 – even with a discount coupon from GoodRx) I cannot afford them.
Lucky for me, the Mental Health Clinic I go to is excellent – most of the time – and is willing to work with me. They are allowing me to keep going to my appointments even without medical insurance. They are also going to help me find alternative medications to the ones I am on now so that I will be able to afford them. It would mean a lot to me if everyone would send me some warm wishes, prayers, and good luck with this med change.
Anyone with a mental health condition who has had to do a major me change knows how hard this can sometimes be. A med change can really send a person through some major loops. I am not going to project what will happen with this or catastrophize this situation because I am trying to live in the moment. I can’t control what is happening around me. I can only control what I do. I have to try to keep this in mind when I am feeling unwell.
I had been feeling like I have accomplished nothing in my life lately. After I had that talk with my boyfriend, he made realize that I have accomplished a lot. I am in the process of having a book published, and I have not had a drop of alcohol in over a year. Tomorrow will be 13 months since my last drink. I survived an overdose that initially killed me. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I know that I am here for a reason. I am starting to think that reason has to do with advocating for mental health and addictions. But who knows because life can change in an instant. Today isn’t promised and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
I am so grateful that I woke up like this today… happy.
Until next time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.