My 32nd Birthday
My birthday has come and gone. It was on Saturday, August 4th, and I turned 32-years-old.
My day started off in tears when I thought my best friend bailed on me because she was supposed to show up at 8 am, but she just overslept. She showed up around 10 am and she took me to Shady Maples, which was like over an hour away. It’s this really amazing buffet out on Lancaster, PA. I had such a great time too.
I just wish the greatness of my birthday would have lasted longer because I made the mistake of inviting this girl over who claimed to be a “good friend.” Let’s just skip over the next part and say that the night left me with hurt feelings. On top of that, I felt like such an asshole because Mike went out of his way, as well as Jazmine, to make my day great.
One bitch had to ruin everything for me. In the process of being mad, I had failed to realize that I neglected Mike like all day. I feel like such a jerk… it’s been what 3 or 4 days and I still feel like a jerk. He thought I was mad at him. I’m just like awe no way. I feel horrible.
This is why I stick to minimal friends and watch who I let into my life. F*** fake friends!
All this time I thought having one best friend and a few others I can talk to was bad and that it was a lonely life. When in reality, I have all that I need. I was right to be picky about who I actually let in.
I must admit, my childhood has taught me to be guarded. Maybe that was for the best. I can’t help but feel like everyone is out to get me sometimes. Maybe I overreacted about what went down at first, but years of therapy has taught me to try to confront my problem(s) and talk it out, and I may not always listen but I am glad I did this time because I learned who my real friends are and honestly, my overreacting showed me the truth. I guess this girl just wanted something that never her’s to begin with.
The two others involved in what happened on my bday night (which as much as I want to discuss the night’s events… I can’t out of protection for everyone involved) hurt me and no one but Mike gave a damn. Only one out of three people cared that I was hurt. The person I thought would understand where I was coming from the most just doesn’t get it, and it makes me sad.
When I care about and love someone or something, I care and love with all my heart and maybe that’s a mistake on my part. I’m so bipolar… so it’s all or nothing to the fullest extent with me.
I guess you live and you learn.
Despite that she-demon that hurt my feelings, I want to thank Mike and Jazmine for going out of their way to celebrate with me.
I had therapy today and talked to my sponsor and I am just so over the drama. I know where I went wrong on my birthday and all I can account for is myself and my own actions. I just needed a few days to vent about why I was hurt. I won’t let that happen again. I unfriended the girl who hurt my feelings on Facebook.
Now, the childish part in me wants to say I know how to ruin her life. But the woman in me who hasn’t drunk one drop of alcohol since August 27, 2017, knows that Karma is a bitch and what goes around comes around on life’s terms and not mine. 😀
Until Next Time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.