Sea Isle City Day 4: Forgetting The Ugly
Today was a pretty good day. I got to get out to the Sea Isle City Boardwalk with my boyfriend, Mike. He bought me this cute Sea Isle City t-shirt – in gray since I am color blind and it happens to be one of the colors that I can usually see no matter what – and we spent some time playing at an arcade and went shopping as well. We also got lunch and this really good pizza place. Overall, I really enjoyed myself. But I also learned a lesson today, which is to take the mean comments that people say about you and basically forget the ugly. Now, if only I could do that all the time!
Once we got back to the beach house, I decided to try on the two shirts that I got today, and the one I wanted to try first was the one Mike got me since it was my favorite one. He told me to go out and show his mom. Oh, what a mistake that turned out to be. His dad said it was pretty and then his mom said, “I wouldn’t go as far as to call it pretty.” Then I made the mistake of saying that I felt fat in it because his mom basically said that I should put it away until next year (after my bariatric surgery).
I felt horrible, like I know I am fat – thank you very much – but it really hurt my feelings and Mike didn’t exactly stand up for me either. But ouch! That was kind of mean. She didn’t have to outright agree with me. She could have kept that thought internally and at least said that it looked alright or okay or decent or something. She could have even just smiled, and that would have been nicer.
You can believe that I took that shirt right off and not only did she hurt my feelings but I was hoping that I wouldn’t offend Mike if I never wore it again since I looked like a beached whale apparently. I was offended, and then I started to feel kind of sad. I was letting one mean comment (or two depending on how you look at it) ruin my good day.
After a couple of hours, I decided that who cares what she thinks, anyway? I have seen women bigger than myself wear nothing but their unmentionables and still feel confident. I put it on and just owned the crap out of the t-shirt that my boyfriend was nice enough to get me. So, that mean comment was all about that t-shirt that I have on in the picture on the left. It was nothing fancy, but I love It.
Forgetting the ugly thing that was said to me was the best decision I have made in a little while. Immediately I started to feel better and was able to really enjoy the rest of my day. It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. But I challenged my thinking and started to ask myself, “Why do you I care, anyway?” Everyone is entitled to their opinions and there is not a damn thing you can do to change someone’s opinions about you. There are going to think what they want to think. That’s just how things are.
Now, if I would be able to do that all time things could really start to look up for me because I spend so much time worrying about what people think of me.
Time for bed! Until Next Time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.