Photo Credit:unsplash-logoYeshi Kangrang

My 2018 Vacation Starts In 12 Hours

I am so excited because, in less than 12 hours, I will be on my way to Sea Isle City. It is about a three-hour drive so it’s not too bad but it is out of state.

I have gone every year for the past five years I believe. It’s with my boyfriend and his family.

I’m starting to feel a little restless, though. I think it’s because I’m anxious to get the driving portion over and done with, even though I am not going to be the driver. Most of the time I’m like a dog, I love going for car rides. But when it comes to being in the car for longer than an hour straight, it drives me insane. I hate not being able to go to the bathroom right when I have to go and I tend to have to use the ladies room a lot more than a 31-year-old should.

Plus, I have chronic back pain so sitting in a vehicle for extended periods of time on bumpy Pennsylvania roads suck. Thank God Jersey roads tend be smoother. At least the part we are going to are.

I’m really grateful that his Family invites me every year. I’m not going to lie, though, being around his family makes me feel awkward. Kind of like I don’t fit in because we are from different sides of the street, but they are really nice people.

I am looking forward to taking lots of pictures and walking on the beach. I would bring my laptop on the sand and stare at the ocean view and write or blog because that is actually on my bucketlist — to write by the ocean — but I am too worried that I would get sand on it or that it will get wet, broken, or stolen. I need my laptop because, well, I am a writer. Or at least, I try to be.

(Excuse all my typos by the way, I am writting this post on my cell phone while I lie in bed since I packed up my laptop already. Plus, it is almost midnight.)

For some reason, I think I may be looking forward to going on vacation more this year than any other year. I’m not quite sure why either. I feel like a little kid waiting for Santa to show up on Christmas Eve.

I have to try to leave my bipolarness at home when I leave tomorrow because parts of his family and “extended” family do not believe in mental illness. So I already dread a breakdown or pain attack when I am around them. I have to try to be as “normal” as possible. I am usually told to be on my best behavior. But a breakdown or panic attack aren’t things that can be fully controlled. Sometimes they just happen out of the blue for me… And millions of other people in the world who deal with mental health issues.

Some days I love being bipolar because it allows me to be so much more imaginative and creative than a “normie” as I like to call “normal’ people. But honestly, what is normal anyway? I don’t think anyone in the world is actually normal because everyone is born unique and different. We all have our shit to go through. Some people just handle it or hide it better than others.

Time to catch some Zzz’s!

Until Next Time…

Samantha 💕