One Moment At A Time

One Moment At A Time


I must admit, I am feeling better than I was the other day. But I am still not 100 percent, yet. I know that moment is coming soon (I hope) since I have been rapid cycling like crazy. I just have to get through each day and hold on to those moments where I am feeling good or even those moments I am just feeling okay. And I know that I have to do this one moment at a time.

Some people say that bipolar depression is worse than any other type of depression out there. But I am not so sure about that because, after all, depression is still depression and it can still hurt the same. Just a random thought.

I still have moments where I feel like I am an inconvenience to people and it’s not the best feeling in the world. I just have to keep telling myself that I am not, and that people love and care about me. Lately, people have been making the effort to be kind and to say I love you, and tell me that they care. And right now, I really need that.

I will carry this nasty gash on my arm for the rest of my life because I didn’t want to fully let people in and because I didn’t want to admit to how low I had sunk. I mean, I have no problems telling group of strangers how I feel but when it comes to my loved ones I can let them know that yes, in fact, I am depressed. But I hold on to exactly how bad it is.

I am so grateful that I am not as bad as I was like week. That felt like a nightmare. I felt so helpless and hopeless and powerless over my own life. I decided to open up to a few trusted people about how bad it was and I am glad I finally made that decision because they would have never known that I was suffering so much.

I really appreciate the kind comments and support I got from of my followers on here and on Facebook. It really meant a lot to me and you know who you guys are.

On a more positive note, I am back to writing for just BabyGaga and I honestly love it because now I don’t feel so overwhelmed. I can’t lie, at first, I felt like a total failure for not being able to keep up with all those sites. But I had to realize, after beating myself up, that I am only human and that I have a disadvantage compared to the “normies” since I am bipolar and also have adult ADD. I can only do so much if I want to keep my sanity. I tried my best. At least I still have BG.

And the good news for me and everyone I know who I got hired at BG is that out word count was reduced after being ridiculous raise so I am going to be able to to back to.doing one article a day.

Until next time…

Samantha πŸ’œπŸ’™πŸ’Ÿ

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Categories: Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Mental Health, Our Personal Blog, Samantha Steiner, Samantha's Personal Blog

Tags: , , , , , ,

6 replies

  1. Love all of your posts; thank you for sharing your heart ❀️ depression is depression and sucks for everyone. But it also passes, and I hope yours passes soon (I know from my own experiences that it often feels like it never will). Hope that writing helps you release just as it helps me!!

    Liked by 1 person

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