Today is just not a good day for me. There is no reason for this either. I had a good night last night. My best friend and her daughter slept over and we had a girls night. But then I couldn’t sleep. It was like 3 AM. My thoughts started racing and it’s like every decision I’ve made, or have to make about the future became so distorted and I started to feel gloomy. This is completely out of nowhere. It hit me like a freight train. All of a sudden it became… what future?
I woke up at 6:30 AM and just didn’t feel right. I don’t feel like myself today. It’s like something has invaded my life and taken over the controls for the day. I even napped today hoping I would wake back up in a better mood, but it was of no use. I just feel like I am here. Just here. I don’t know how to explain it really. I’m trying so hard to put into words how I am feeling but I can’t fully do it. I feel like if I can just get out what I am feeling then it will just go away.
The day just slipped by me and I don’t even know what I actually did. It’s almost 11 at night. I feel so uneasy and on edge. Maybe even a bit paranoid, but I don’t know what I am paranoid about. Maybe I just need to take my meds and call it a night.
Thanks For Reading,
…Until Next Time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.