It’s Been A Good Week 💜
My mini-mental health break is over, and it’s back to the real world! I wanted to write a post yesterday about how my week has been going but I got caught up in an article. From about noon until almost 11 pm, all I did was write. I felt bad because I didn’t get to go for my evening walk but by the time I realized what time it actually was, it was already dark outside and pretty late, so I didn’t want to walk around my complex that late. Lol. I guess you can say that I don’t live in the best of areas, but it is definitely better than some.
I also forgot to eat yesterday due to being sucked into my article, and by the time I finished, I just ate an apple and something small. Needless to say, I woke up slightly hungry.
There are some new rules for the sites I write for, so now our articles are much longer in order to keep up with their compliance rules. So, they are now taking more time than they really should and more than I anticipated. The one I finished last night was 24 entries, plus an intro, and it was almost 6,500 words. Who actually wants to read all that? I don’t know. I think they are way too long now. I’m not really complaining though because I love what I do. I had a dream and I followed it. Plus, I started from the bottom as a ghostwriter, so I am very happy with my progress. AND… My 160th article will be published today on Babygaga! Woop Woop! 🎉
I am so happy that I started walking because between watching what I am eating and actually being physically active, it has already helped me lose a few pounds. I don’t want to talk negatively about myself right now, but I am a thick girl and I could definitely use the weight loss. I am hoping that it helps improve my overall health and general wellbeing. I am just really hoping this isn’t a bipolar thing where I am so motivated and want to accomplish so much and then when my mood changes or I go into an episode, I go back to being lazy and being the “old” me.
From missing my walk yesterday, which I really do feel so guilty about it, I am going to try to go for two walks today. I am aware that sometimes I tend to do things to an extreme, it’s either all or nothing… So, I know I have to be careful what I do so that it doesn’t become “nothing” or become an obsession.
I am supposed to have an article that is due today, but now I am going to have to push everything back a day because my editor never approved any of my outlines. I have one on reserve to do, but I was trying so hard not to get backed up. At least this time, It is not my fault! Like I mentioned, there are new word counts which mean I have to space my articles out to be every other day almost – especially if they are more than 15 entries. Now, however, I feel like I am going to have to rush things which I am definitely trying to avoid doing for my own sanity.
I had an appointment with my psych doctor on Thursday and it went well. I explained that I have been rapid cycling, so she increased my Buspar to 10 mg, three times a day. If I keep rapid cycling, they may try me on something that I have never been on before – Tegretol or something like that. That kind of makes me nervous, but I know in the search for total stability, you have to be willing to give things a try.
It really has been a good week for me. I stayed rather stable for the most part. I did have my usual bouts of anxiety and even some paranoia, but at least it wasn’t something like a full-blown depressive episode again. I can’t keep sitting here feeling sorry for myself all the time and if I want things to change, I am going to have to start making changes. Easier said than done though, am I right?
Speaking of changes; I have a major choice that I have made and now the ball is in someone else’s court to see if this major change is going to happen. I don’t really want to get into it too much and gets my hopes up in case the other party decides not to do it. But I may be making a big move – literally. This change would definitely take me out of my comfort zone, but it may hopefully bring more opportunity. Maybe even give me a fresh start. I have a lot of anxiety about it, and if I make this move I will be leaving someone very close to my behind. But if it were to happen, I hope she would visit. I still need to talk to her about it, but I am nervous as to how the conversation would go. And me being an avoider and all, I would rather push it off until I know more. She’d be the only person/thing keeping me right where I am. ❤💕
Now, it’s time to get to work! Thanks for reading!
Until next time…
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.