I just need to vent. It’s but such an irritating morning and it has only just begun. I didn’t get to sleep until close to 6 something in the morning and was rudely around 8 am to the very annoying sounds of water dripping. Let me just say that it is not raining outside but more so inside my apartment.
We had to call maintenance here at like 2 am because of this same issue and apparently, it has yet to be resolved. The upstairs apartment’s water heater broke or something according to maintenance, and since no one lives up there right now the issue has gone unnoticed until it was bad enough to rain down into our apartment. All I hear is drip, drip, drip and it is driving me freaking nuts! It is also dripping in at multiple spots. I am sure that water damage is going to be positively radiant.
Then on top of it, and after only two hours of sleep, I get a notice that not only is my checking account screwed up, but so is my PayPal account. I had to ask my little sister to help me fix at least one of the two. I am very appreciative that she was willing to help me. The other one, I cannot even attempt to fix until the first, so I guess I will have to wait and see what the consequences of that will be. I am hoping the issue that my Crystal helped me resolve will actually fully be taking care of so that maybe I have one less thing to worry about.
I have been up two hours and I would really love to punch someone in the face right about now. No one specific, but just whoever would be willing to let me punch them in the face. I would love to just be able to go right back to sleep, but I don’t think that is even possible right now at this point. Just like, those two or three things this morning just like sent me into a completely agitated bipolar mood. So agitated actually, that I decided to go ahead and cancel my therapy appointment for today because the people I want to interact with today, or more so the only people I can tolerate right now, is very limited and unfortunately my therapist did not make the cut. You would think that I would want to go therapy today to get out all of my pent-up frustrations, but no. Not really. I am not in a very talkative mood and the thought of having to spill out all my emotions for an hour sounds quite repulsive.
Another thing that just completely irritated me thing morning was that I found out that my psych office doesn’t want to fill my lithium refill until I go for my lithium level, but I cannot go for my lithium level until they allow me to get my lithium refilled. They just do not seem to be getting this. This is how people end up getting lithium toxicity and die: people get their levels done when the medication is not properly in their system (for whatever reason) which, in turn, causes the doctors to think that they need to increase your dose because your levels were too low and BAM next thing you know, you are in the hospital because your kidneys are shutting down from lithium toxicity. Overly dramatic, but been there before in a similar situation and I didn’t care for it very much and would not like to do that all over again.
I feel the need to like manically type or write or do something. But I am not in the mood to actually work on my article just yet. I feel like it was just only a few hours ago that I took a break from it. Oh, wait, it was! I am not all that interested in the topic I have to write so I am not as motivated to go back to writing it. It’s all about things that can cause macrosomia.
Macrosomia is a condition in which a baby is born and weighs more than the average of 8 pounds, 13 ounces. There are only like 3 or 4 legitimate things that cause this, and even that is pushing it. So, I had to turn those 3 or 4 things into 15 things. So I basically had to branch it and look at what things cause the things that cause macrosomia and write about that. Are you following me? Okay so like, gestational diabetes causes macrosomia, aka a big baby, I had to brand out to the things that cause gestational diabetes. Which is sometimes unknown, however, I still had to try to manage to get it to work out. This article sucks already, and I will not take offense if when it is published and no one wants to read it. Okay, I lied, I would care. So when it comes out please click on it and at least try to act like there was one good sentence somewhere throughout the entire article.
My editor does not want the article to sound too “medical” and in the back of my mind I am screaming, “Say what now? How the F am I supposed to make a medical article sound not medical!” I am not that talented and so my article is going to be bad in her eyes most likely. That is something that I just have to deal with when the time comes, and pray that this article does not get rejected all because it sounds too “medical.” How do you make gestational diabetes and preeclampsia not sound medical without writing like you have no idea what you are talking about? That would be the only way I could think of making it sound the way she wants. So, am I supposed to take a randomized sentence like, “…gestational diabetes is a medical condition that only affects pregnant women…” and turn it into, “…so like yeah, if your sugar is like high. Then you get this condition that only happens to chicks who are knocked up…” Ugh…
Okay, so this venting session turned out way longer than I intended it to be so I do apologize.
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.