Trapped & Over Thinking
By: Samantha Steiner
The one thing people don’t seem to realize about mental illness unless you deal with it first hand is that you can get trapped in your own mind more often than not. You can also overthink things way too much as well. It feels like getting lost inside of a maze and not being able to find your way out. It can get really disturbing and distracting at times.
When you try to explain to people how you are feeling they are usually quick to say, “Well, just stop thinking like that.” Like it’s that simple. Like you can just snap out of it that quick. If that were the case I would just “snap out of it” but it doesn’t work like that. One simple thought can turn into a million other thoughts. A positive thought can quickly turn negative in an instant.
When I am alone, that is when I really get trapped inside my own head. It can also disrupt my sleep for days on end. “Normal” people take being able to stop their thoughts for granted. They take being able to sleep through the night for granted as well.
I wish I could stop over thinking things. It’s not fun. And at times, it can make my depression or moods even worse than they already are. Being trapped and overthinking tends to make me think that every little thing is about me. Example; My boyfriend sleeps in the living room, therefore it MUST be something I had done. If someone doesn’t answer my text or call right away, then that person MUST be mad at me. Etc…
Thinking and feeling like this can’t be healthy for me, or for anyone for that matter. But how do I change my thinking when I have been this way for as long as I can remember? It feels utterly hopeless at times. I just have to continue to try to look on the brighter side and try to continue to listen to relaxing sounds/music to try to slow my thoughts down, especially at night. There is no quick fix for overthinking. It is a lifestyle change that I will continue to work on if I want to gain my sanity and try to have a healthier outlook on my mental health.
Samantha is the author of "My Bipolar Mind: You're not alone," she is also a freelance writer, blogger, and mental health advocate who runs and manages her own mental health blog MyBipolarMind.com.